We saw Oblivion together in theaters last weekend, and instead of writing an article, we decided it'd be more fun to share our post show conversation. SPOILER ALERT:
There aren't many surprises in Oblivion,
but what few there are we ruin in this conversation. Reader beware.
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| Oblivion, starring Tom Cruise is in theaters now. This was what we chose to watch... oops. |
So. Oblivion?
Oblivion...
It's been a week and this movie has almost completely fallen out of my brain...
I remember it was pretty, Cruse was boring, and it needed more Freeman... other
than that it was a 20-years-too-late, long, dull snooze fest.
Morgan Freeman shot 2.5 days on this movie. He just
packed a toothbrush and they had cue cards waiting for him. Tom Cruise on the
other hand WORKED this movie HARD. He was a producer too, but you could see
that he was bringing his A-game to C-Level material. He wants another
franchise, BAD.
At this point, however, I think he would also settle for
a well-received, high concept flick, which is what this tried to be.
Franchise? Where the crap would this go? If this is him
working hard then I'm scared. Tom Cruise needs a director... someone to keep is
ego in check. It's not even good sci-fi, it's just a bunch of clichés. It feels
like (you said after the film) an 80's rehash, because it was.
Yeah, spoiler alert, but not a lot is left standing at
the end of this film, and there’s no possibility of a sequel. It was, well...
oblivion. To its credit though, the film told a self-contained story without
reaching for a sequel, which I appreciated. Especially since it was pretty weak
as a series of one.
But yes, let’s cover the 80's thing. We left this movie
with the conclusion that it simply came out in the wrong decade. If this had
been released in the mid 80's (before everything surprising about this movie
had already been done better by EVERY other sci-fi film) it would have been a
huge hit. Imagine it…
Starring: 80's up-and-comer Tom Cruise.
Setting: Bare wasteland with strains of overwrought
electronic tunes (courtesy of M83, the most 80’s sounding pop group of today).
Pacing: Slowwwww.
Audience: Riding the wave and appreciating the visuals
between lines of powder and sips of New Coke.
It would have been perfect.
Okay, while admit it COULD have been good, we have to
think that if this came out in the 80s it also could have looked like this…
Starring: 80's Tom Cruise... Fine he was a big name, but not
great actor even at the time, though I'll give you this one.
Setting: Same, but requiring visual effects that at the
time would have been hard to watch at best, and based on the script, effects
are all this thing has.
Pacing: Would not have been slow... It would have been a
mad dash like Mad Max 2.
Audience: Might have bought it then, but this is the
entire point that I want to make. IT'S NOT THE 80s! I'm not going to give a
film a pass just because it would have been good 30 years ago. It's 2013! Do
something for now, not then.
True. I think both of us can agree that the high point of
this movie was its production design, which was understated and cohesive. The
world was well made and they shot it well.
Yes. I agree. If the world had gone through that type of
apocalypse it would look just like it did on this screen.
I think you said in the theater that the robot killer
drones looked and sounded like the supporting cast of WALL-E had declared war on earth.
This entire film tried to be WALL-E. It felt like Tom was sitting at home with Siri one day
watching WALL-E and was like, “I
could do this! This robot ain't so great! I could do that and talk at the same
time! Siri, don’t you think Daddy could do this?"
"No Daddy, this robot is cute"
"Daddy can do anything!" He then jumps on couch and scares his daughter and wife.
Ha! Well, if you don't like Tom Cruise (I do, you don't)
you have multiple reasons to hate this movie. Spoiler alert: There's multiple
Tom's on screen here.
Yes. True, even if just for a moment. Cruise is not
great... but he's totally acceptable (the nicest thing I can say about him). But
everything is predictable, if you have half a brain you can predict everything
that happens on screen. And like we discussed in the middle of watching this
movie, the logic doesn’t hold up. The entire "villain" could have
saved itself at any time, if only just by using a back up hard drive.
So my boredom came out of the fact that I was ahead of
the film the entire time.
Again, I'm in complete agreement. By the time the exposition
(which was a beyond-clunky voiceover) was over, both of us already knew the
every plot point for the rest of the film. The clone Toms were a mild surprise,
but just served to reveal any remaining mystery halfway through.
The other minor surprise to me wasn't that Tom had a
relationship with both women in the movie, but how old he was in comparison. He
had 20 years on both of them.
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| Who's the woman next to Tom Cruise that looks like an emaciated Catherine Zeta-Jones? We don't care either. |
Well you know Tom gets what Tom wants... and in wake of
divorce Tom want all the ladies. The sad part to me is that the more
interesting story was with the... uh... what were they called? The Morgan
Freeman followers... the "Scavs?"... They were far more interesting
and would have been more entertaining to follow then Tom. There is not nearly
enough about them.
Yeah. There's a tiny remnant of humans that have
scratched out a living on Battlefield Earth, and who knows how they get by? We
only see Tom's hermetically sealed apartment with pool attached. It made the
rest of humanity very passive.
Alright. Pool in the sky is awesome.
That sequence, lovemaking to electronika, was STRAIGHT
out of an 80's action flick!
It's like Tom, who was executive producer, had to revert
back to the last time he was an actual human being for inspiration, which was
the 1980's!
It sounds like most of your enjoyment was nostalgic... it
was like finding a new film that you have missed from your childhood. True?
YESSSS! It was like finding a time capsule! This, Legend, and Tron would be the perfect triple feature.
But, like something that's been buried too long, when we
try to examine this movie, it crumbles in our hands.
I guess then that's the way to enjoy this film. It comes
out 30 years too late to enjoyable for me. If I want to watch a nostalgic 80s
film... I'll go watch a 80s film.
Most of my issues with this are plot, and logic related, and
I wasn’t going to blame Mr. Cruise for that since he didn’t write or direct
this film, but as the lead actor and EP he may have had more say then the
actual writer/director. Oblivion
doesn't understand when it was resealed, or what a current audience is looking
for.
So, if we were to sum up the experience of Oblivion to close?
Sum up Oblivion...
Fun to watch with you - boring to watch in general. “Pretty” only goes so far
with me. (see my hatred for Avatar).
The only enjoyable way to watch this movie is in theaters, but overall not
worth the money you will pay for it. Too much predictable, incoherent nonsense,
and bad Tom Cruise for my taste. You?
I have a soft spot for a film that is SOOO well-made and
designed that I can give it extra credit, just like I can for a film that has a
powerful story but no production value. However, though I had a fun time in the
theater with you, and Oblivion was
pretty to look at, it was a disappointingly redundant movie and is an easy miss
for audiences.
Stay at home with a Ridley Scott DVD, you'll have a
better time.
As I said when leaving the theater, it's not hard to make
a pretty film nowadays. This one won't be in any effects awards when awards
time comes. But I'll leave your soft spot alone and say this one stands as
mediocre at best.
Now to wipe the space this film is taking up in our brains....
OBLIVIATE!
OBLIVATE! …
Jeff... it's been like forever since I’ve seen you! You’re
you coming home to visit? WE could see that new Tom Cruise film, I know you
love him.
Yes, let's go watch Oblivion!
I have no memories telling me not to!
Just for you… but I don't have a good feeling about it!
Tom Cruise is so handsome.
Jeff and Josh
Off the movies we go!
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