It’s the end of the first
week of April, and we’re inching closer and closer to summer and with it the
start of some good movies finally being released. Well, let’s see if there are
any diamonds among the rough right now.
Movies Seen In Theatres This Week: The Croods, Olympus Has Fallen, G. I. Joe: Retaliation, Spring
Breakers, Jurassic Park 3D
Lesson 5. Sometimes
All You Need is 5 Words
Stupid. Dull. Sexist.
Unoriginal. Useless. The only five words you need to describe G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Lesson 4. The Formula For Animated Success
So The Croods is a perfectly acceptable film. It was enjoyable enough
and it was a perfect paint by numbers. If you follow the well trodden path, you
are going to get a very, very pretty film – which The Croods is. The characters have arcs that are simple to follow,
and a story that hits every predictable plot point. So if it gets all these
things right, what’s wrong with The
Croods? Even the best paint by numbers is nothing special because you are
following someone else’s formula. I’m not saying that you always have re-invent
the wheel (caveman pun intended) with each film, but I am saying that you need
to make it your own. There is nothing new or unique about this film. It all
feels like we’ve seen it before, we know where it’s going – and it’s perfectly
enjoyable ride – but nothing that sticks with you. Yes, this film is for kids
and to them all the stuff that I am complaining about doesn’t matter because it
is the first time they’ve seen it, but if you want to stand the test of time,
not just have the admiration of one generation, then make films for all and not
for just for kids.
Lesson 3. Never
Judge a Film by Its Poster
Or its trailer, or its cast,
or reputation that precedes it. Only judge after having seen it. This lesson is
brought to you by the film Spring
Breakers… It’s not what you think it is, It’s not what it appears to be,
but it is worth your time. For a more in depth look at Spring Breakers check back later this week as I dive deeper into
this film as I’ll give you the Nerd 5 Top 5 Reasons Spring Breakers is the First Must See Film of 2013.
Lesson 2. 90’s Action Films Will Never Die
If you had told me that Olympus Has Fallen was made produced by
Jerry Bruckheimer and released in the ‘90s, I would have been like “uh… that
makes perfect sense.” Olympus Has Fallen is an example a good action film, yes as a
child of the ‘90s this film feels right, but let’s dive into what make this a
worthy action film. First off, it’s not overtly complicated; there are two
simple goals in this film: Save the president and don’t die. Second off, all
the actors of this film play it with honesty, find the humor when appropriate,
and give gravity to the material. Third, the characters make sense, theirl
choices (no matter how crazy) are grounded with honest feelings. Sure, the
effects are not the best, which I am assuming is why this was released in March
and not June or July, but if you get past that (which is easy to do) then this is
a very enjoyable watch.
Lesson 1. Raptors Can Open Doors!
I
rave about Movie Pass quite often and wonderful the service is, but one of the
limitations is that you can’t see 3D films, which 99% of the time I could care
less about. But this week Jurassic Park
was rereleased into theaters with the obligatory 3D treatment. I’m not a fan of
3D rereleases, but this is Jurassic Park.
When I first heard that this was happening I was like, “Alright, this is a money
grab that I can get behind!” So what kind of film can get me to shell out money
on top of my monthly Movie Pass fee AND see a film in 3D? Jurassic Park. One of the greatest summer blockbusters of ALL TIME.
The joy of this film is that it makes me feel like a kid again. The joy, the
fear, the excitement… I found myself lost in this nearly perfect film all over again.
The scene in front of the T-Rex pen at night is simply one of the best scenes
in all of film history, nothing short of amazing. If you’ve not seen this
movie, find a way to see it. But if you have seen, and it’s possible that
you’ve only seen in on the small screen. Take a chance to see in a movie
theatre, or simply go see it AGAIN in a movie theatre. Films are meant to be
seen on the big screen, there is so much detail lost when you get home and
going the theatre to see a film is great. Take the chance to Jurassic Park in theaters again. It’s a
great experience and the 3D isn’t distracting (all it is the lame attempt to
add depth the picture, which you pretty quickly forget about). Get lost in the
amazing film that is Jurassic Par. Never
forget, however, the most important lesson of the film. RAPTORS CAN OPEN DOORS!
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