Talkin' In the Movies: OBLIVION

We saw Oblivion together in theaters last weekend, and instead of writing an article, we decided it'd be more fun to share our post show conversation. SPOILER ALERT: There aren't many surprises in Oblivion, but what few there are we ruin in this conversation. Reader beware.

 

Oblivion, starring Tom Cruise is in theaters now. This was what we chose to watch... oops.

Jeff

 So. Oblivion?

Josh

Oblivion... It's been a week and this movie has almost completely fallen out of my brain... I remember it was pretty, Cruse was boring, and it needed more Freeman... other than that it was a 20-years-too-late, long, dull snooze fest.

Jeff

Morgan Freeman shot 2.5 days on this movie. He just packed a toothbrush and they had cue cards waiting for him. Tom Cruise on the other hand WORKED this movie HARD. He was a producer too, but you could see that he was bringing his A-game to C-Level material. He wants another franchise, BAD.

At this point, however, I think he would also settle for a well-received, high concept flick, which is what this tried to be.

Josh

Franchise? Where the crap would this go? If this is him working hard then I'm scared. Tom Cruise needs a director... someone to keep is ego in check. It's not even good sci-fi, it's just a bunch of clichés. It feels like (you said after the film) an 80's rehash, because it was.

Jeff

Yeah, spoiler alert, but not a lot is left standing at the end of this film, and there’s no possibility of a sequel. It was, well... oblivion. To its credit though, the film told a self-contained story without reaching for a sequel, which I appreciated. Especially since it was pretty weak as a series of one.

But yes, let’s cover the 80's thing. We left this movie with the conclusion that it simply came out in the wrong decade. If this had been released in the mid 80's (before everything surprising about this movie had already been done better by EVERY other sci-fi film) it would have been a huge hit. Imagine it…

Starring: 80's up-and-comer Tom Cruise.

Setting: Bare wasteland with strains of overwrought electronic tunes (courtesy of M83, the most 80’s sounding pop group of today).

Pacing: Slowwwww.

Audience: Riding the wave and appreciating the visuals between lines of powder and sips of New Coke.

It would have been perfect.

Josh

Okay, while admit it COULD have been good, we have to think that if this came out in the 80s it also could have looked like this…

Starring: 80's Tom Cruise... Fine he was a big name, but not great actor even at the time, though I'll give you this one.

Setting: Same, but requiring visual effects that at the time would have been hard to watch at best, and based on the script, effects are all this thing has.

Pacing: Would not have been slow... It would have been a mad dash like Mad Max 2.

Audience: Might have bought it then, but this is the entire point that I want to make. IT'S NOT THE 80s! I'm not going to give a film a pass just because it would have been good 30 years ago. It's 2013! Do something for now, not then.

Jeff

True. I think both of us can agree that the high point of this movie was its production design, which was understated and cohesive. The world was well made and they shot it well.

Josh

Yes. I agree. If the world had gone through that type of apocalypse it would look just like it did on this screen.

Jeff

I think you said in the theater that the robot killer drones looked and sounded like the supporting cast of WALL-E had declared war on earth.

Josh

This entire film tried to be WALL-E. It felt like Tom was sitting at home with Siri one day watching WALL-E and was like, “I could do this! This robot ain't so great! I could do that and talk at the same time! Siri, don’t you think Daddy could do this?"

"No Daddy, this robot is cute" 

"Daddy can do anything!"  He then jumps on couch and scares his daughter and wife.

Jeff

Ha! Well, if you don't like Tom Cruise (I do, you don't) you have multiple reasons to hate this movie. Spoiler alert: There's multiple Tom's on screen here.

Josh

Yes. True, even if just for a moment. Cruise is not great... but he's totally acceptable (the nicest thing I can say about him). But everything is predictable, if you have half a brain you can predict everything that happens on screen. And like we discussed in the middle of watching this movie, the logic doesn’t hold up. The entire "villain" could have saved itself at any time, if only just by using a back up hard drive.

So my boredom came out of the fact that I was ahead of the film the entire time.

Jeff

Again, I'm in complete agreement. By the time the exposition (which was a beyond-clunky voiceover) was over, both of us already knew the every plot point for the rest of the film. The clone Toms were a mild surprise, but just served to reveal any remaining mystery halfway through.

The other minor surprise to me wasn't that Tom had a relationship with both women in the movie, but how old he was in comparison. He had 20 years on both of them.

Who's the woman next to Tom Cruise that looks like an emaciated Catherine Zeta-Jones? We don't care either. 

Josh

Well you know Tom gets what Tom wants... and in wake of divorce Tom want all the ladies. The sad part to me is that the more interesting story was with the... uh... what were they called? The Morgan Freeman followers... the "Scavs?"... They were far more interesting and would have been more entertaining to follow then Tom. There is not nearly enough about them.

Jeff

Yeah. There's a tiny remnant of humans that have scratched out a living on Battlefield Earth, and who knows how they get by? We only see Tom's hermetically sealed apartment with pool attached. It made the rest of humanity very passive.

Josh

Alright. Pool in the sky is awesome.

Jeff

That sequence, lovemaking to electronika, was STRAIGHT out of an 80's action flick!

It's like Tom, who was executive producer, had to revert back to the last time he was an actual human being for inspiration, which was the 1980's!

Josh

It sounds like most of your enjoyment was nostalgic... it was like finding a new film that you have missed from your childhood. True?

Jeff

YESSSS! It was like finding a time capsule! This, Legend, and Tron would be the perfect triple feature.

But, like something that's been buried too long, when we try to examine this movie, it crumbles in our hands.

Josh

I guess then that's the way to enjoy this film. It comes out 30 years too late to enjoyable for me. If I want to watch a nostalgic 80s film... I'll go watch a 80s film.

Most of my issues with this are plot, and logic related, and I wasn’t going to blame Mr. Cruise for that since he didn’t write or direct this film, but as the lead actor and EP he may have had more say then the actual writer/director. Oblivion doesn't understand when it was resealed, or what a current audience is looking for.

Jeff

So, if we were to sum up the experience of Oblivion to close?

Josh

Sum up Oblivion... Fun to watch with you - boring to watch in general. “Pretty” only goes so far with me. (see my hatred for Avatar). The only enjoyable way to watch this movie is in theaters, but overall not worth the money you will pay for it. Too much predictable, incoherent nonsense, and bad Tom Cruise for my taste. You?

Jeff

I have a soft spot for a film that is SOOO well-made and designed that I can give it extra credit, just like I can for a film that has a powerful story but no production value. However, though I had a fun time in the theater with you, and Oblivion was pretty to look at, it was a disappointingly redundant movie and is an easy miss for audiences.

Stay at home with a Ridley Scott DVD, you'll have a better time.

Josh

As I said when leaving the theater, it's not hard to make a pretty film nowadays. This one won't be in any effects awards when awards time comes. But I'll leave your soft spot alone and say this one stands as mediocre at best.

Jeff

Now to wipe the space this film is taking up in our brains.... OBLIVIATE!

Josh

OBLIVATE! …

Jeff... it's been like forever since I’ve seen you! You’re you coming home to visit? WE could see that new Tom Cruise film, I know you love him.

Jeff

Yes, let's go watch Oblivion! I have no memories telling me not to!

Josh

Just for you… but I don't have a good feeling about it!

Jeff

Tom Cruise is so handsome. 

Jeff and Josh

Off the movies we go!

Tales from Seattle International Film Festival

Ticket: $3 - Seeing a film I wrote in theaters: Priceless.

Hey folks, Jeff again. Something really special happened this month and I couldn't wait to write about it. On April 13, I took part in a bimonthly event at SIFF (Seattle International Film Festival) called Crash Cinema. The point of Crash is to bring people together, whether in teams or in my case as perfect strangers, for an impossible task: to make a movie in eight hours.

There were a few rules for this challenge, including that each finished film could be no longer than three minutes, and that it had to be back at SIFF by 5 PM. The first rule some ignored, and the second rule we ALL ignored, but I digress. We all also had to start off with the same set of prompts, which we pulled from a hat. The prompts were:

Genre: Film Noir

Action: Pet an imaginary cat

Object: Broom

Phrase: "Where'd you put the cheese?"

All five had to make it into the movie somewhere, past that we could have fun. So that’s what we did.

At the offset, when all 150+ would-be filmmakers were gathered in the cinema, one of the SIFF staff running the event had asked if there were any writers in the crowd, since the festival was always short. After looking around a moment, I raised my hand. I’d written a handful of plays in college (some better than others) and a couple of short films, but nothing recently except a SILENT short film a few weeks before (more on that project to come!). It was terrifying to volunteer to write for strangers, but I’m so glad I did. Within five minutes the challenge had begun and our group was discussing story ideas. Ten minutes later I was writing dialogue for people whose names I hadn’t learned yet. After an hour and a half we had a draft and we were en route to shoot in a group member’s house in West Seattle. Of course I re-wrote the entire thing in the car on the way over (while driving!), but no time to quibble, because we then had five hours to rehearse, shoot, and edit the thing.

With Greg Sommers-Herivel behind the camera, Jason Jenkins, Dustin Kaspar, and Ronee Collins hurriedly learning lines and blocking, Katerina Giannoulas and Kara Baskett making everything run, and me (a little annoyingly) looking over everyone’s shoulders and occasionally changing dialogue or suggesting shots, we got it done. We even kind of got it to the theater on time, in that we weren’t the last ones to stagger in out of the hail (yes! Hail. Thanks Seattle). Then came the joy of buying a ticket, grabbing some snacks, and watching it on the big screen along with everyone else’s. It was amazing to see 15 different films made from the same five prompts, all wildly different. Some silly, some earnest, some highly crafted, others shot on iPhones. The cinema was filled with pure joy and excitement.

That’s the moral of this story. There is nothing that compares to watching a film, especially YOUR film, the way it was meant to be seen, projected onscreen in a dark theater with an enthusiastic audience. I’d never had that experience before. It’s magical. I want to thank SIFF and my new friends for the chance to buy an actual ticket to a movie that I wrote. It’s a huge wish fulfillment and is a feeling that I’ll treasure. Now that I've had a taste, there’s no turning back, I've got to make more. I want to encourage all of our readers to do the same. Find more about SIFF's programs here: http://www.siff.net/, and If you don’t have a community like Seattle that has programs for amateurs, MAKE ONE. Grab some friends, some diet coke, and a camera and MAKE A MOVIE. Do it in a day, don’t take time to second guess, and don’t stop until you’re done. Shoot passionately and with wild abandon and see what happens. On a day when I might have slept in, bought some groceries, or gotten an oil change, I became a filmmaker.

The movie we made, Hard Boiled, is silly, but it’s fun. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDyi3N274vQ

I’ll see you at the movies. 

What We Learned This Week at the Movies: Special Edition

Hello Dear Readers! It’s been a very busy week filled with at least two 12-hour work days. It’s also been my birthday week, and I was given several great gifts, hugs, thanks, songs, and some wonderful love from my amazing friends, students, and family. This week also included - of course - seeing a few films. One of them was with my fellow Nerd 5 blogger Jeff (what a wonderful b-day gift!). For you, dear readers, this means that we have a ton of articles in the works, including a few joint articles! One of them on Oblivion, which Jeff and I saw together, and well… just lot of good stuff in the works.

Which means that there’s not a regular What We Learned at the Movies this week, but while we're taking some time to gather our thoughts and put together awesome new material, we hope you enjoy the following video.

Let me set up what you are about to see a tiny bit. One of my students gave me the birthday gift of a VHS copy of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace and a hammer. As a fan of the original Star Wars trilogy (and a person who can happily remember a time when it was the only Star Wars trilogy), you can probably guess my feelings on Episodes 1, 2, and 3. If you can’t here’s the quickest Nerd 5 Top 5 of all time!

Top 5 Reasons that Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace Deserves to Destroyed with a Hammer

5. Midi-Chlorians – The reason why not everyone can be Jedi. It all comes down to genetics? Way to kill the dream.

4. George Lucas Dialogue – For everything that Lucas does well, dialogue is not one of them. So bad…. Soooooo bad.

3. Darth Maul’s Death – Spoilers… the best villain of the entire prequel trilogy dies in this film!! Far too early…. Grrrr grrrr… (Jeff disagrees. Best lightsaber battle ever, best death).

2. Jar Jar Binks! – A character so bad, even Lucas himself shrinks from it. Check out The People vs. George Lucas for a quote from a writer of The Clone Wars TV show about how to treat the character of Jar Jar.

1. BECAUSE I COULD!!!

The following video is what happens when you put Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace, a hammer, and me in the same room. Nerd 5 is proud to present The Phantom Menace Destruction.

Nerd 5 Top 5 Best Baseball Movies

April is upon us, which means that baseball season is finally here. For us fans that means 162 games of glory as our boys of summer try to pull off minor miracles and make the dreams of their fans come true. Now, this blog is called Nerd 5, and so how I’m writing an article based on sports films? Well, I’m just that kind of nerd. But the reason for this article is threefold, the second being the release of 42. 42 tells the story of a true American hero, Jackie Robinson, and his struggle to break the color barrier in baseball and in America. The third and final reason is that I love a good baseball movie (heck I love a bad baseball movie), so this Nerd 5 Top 5 is dedicated the best baseball films of all time.

Before we jump into the list, I’ve got to quickly touch on a bunch of films that are all very good don’t quite make my personal top 5. Here’s a quick glance at some almost Nerd 5 quality films.

Classics That Don’t Quite Hold: Pride of The Yankees (1942), Damn Yankees! (1958).

An Amazing Documentary for Baseball Historians: Baseball by Ken Burns (1994/2010).

Not Good Films, But Enjoyable: Fever Pitch (2005), The Sandlot (1993).

Everyone Else’s #1: Bull Durham (1988) or The Natural (1984) a quick aside about these two films – Bull Durham and The Natural are pretty universally acclaimed as the two best baseball films of all time, and although I agree that they’re good, they simply aren’t my cup of tea.

Honorable Mentions: 61* (2001) A passion project for director Billy Crystal, a life-long Yankees fan, tells the story of the summer of ’61 when Mickey Mantle and Rodger Marris were in race to do the unthinkable, break Babe Ruth’s single-season home run record. A surprisingly touching and very well made film for HBO.  Moneyball (2011) A modern-day baseball film for a modern-day baseball subject; Moneyball deals with the changes in the baseball front office in the most compelling way it can, get Aaron Sorkin to write to the script. Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill shine in the story of ’01 Oakland A’s, and it’s more than worth your time to watch.

Ok, here we go…

5. Major League (1989) Dir. David S. Ward, Staring: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Bob Uecker and Wesley Snipes – One of the few true- blue comedies in all of baseball film history, Major League manages to strike the perfect balance between comedy and drama. There’s nothing new here plotwise (what you think is going to happen will and does happen at every turn) but that’s okay because the strength of this film is its extremely unlikely group of lovable losers. Most baseball films are an example of how to make an ensemble film since you root for a team, not a person. Major League is filled with so many great performances and memorable characters that it’s hard not to root for these misfits. But what really puts this one over the top is Bob Uecker. Uecker is an actual baseball announcer (currently the voice of the Milwaukee Brewers) and gives some of the most hilarious lines of the film as the announcer for the Cleveland Indians, and sells every moment of this film. Without Uecker, Major League would be sent back to the minors. It was followed by two sequels, Major League II is far better than the third installment, but nothing compared to the original.

4. Field of Dreams (1989) Dir. Phil A. Robinson, Staring: Kevin Costner, Amy Madigan, James Earl Jones and Ray Liotta – No list is complete without a trip that famous Iowa cornfield where we all learned “If you build it, he will come.” This film has become a timeless classic for all generations, and a love letter to all fathers and sons. Kevin Costner stars in this film (one of three baseball films he’s known for, along with Bull Durham and For Love of the Game) and shines as Ray, a down on his luck farmer that starts to hear voices. The glory of Field of Dreams is that it taps into two very strong human instincts. First, to follow our dreams at any cost, and second, to find one more moment with our loved ones (for Ray, his dad). Dreams has great performances, a compelling story, and a cranky James Earl Jones, what could be better? For a baseball film there is a shockingly small amount baseball in this movie, but there is absolutely no question that Field of Dreams is a good a baseball film as there is, not to be missed by any fan of the game.

3. 8 Men Out (1988) Dir. John Sayles, Staring: David Strathairn, John Cusack, Michael Lerner, John Mahoney, D.B. Sweeny, Christopher Lloyd and Charlie Sheen – Eight Men Out tells the story of the 1919 Black Sox’s Scandal and it is wonderfully told. We really get to know the players, coaches, owners, and all others involved with this black mark on American baseball history. For those unfamiliar with the story, I won’t going to give it away here in hopes that you will seek out this lesser-known great. So what makes Eight Men Out great? The action on the field is just as compelling as the action off the field. We really get to understand each of our characters and their motivations. Outstanding performances by Strathairn and Cusack are the heart of this little film that could. Eight Men Out was one of the first independent films to make it big within the studio system and helped paved the way for the indy/Sundance revolution of the 90’s. It’ a great watch and a historically important film as well. Take the time to find this gem.

2. A League of Their Own (1992) Dir. Penny Marshall, Staring: Genna Davis, Lori Petty, Tom Hanks, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Jon Lovitz and David Strathairn – The number two spot goes to the ladies of the All-American League, and the only female professional baseball league in history. This film tells the story of how this league came into existence, why it was needed, and how it succeeded all while telling a compelling story of Dottie (Genna Davis) and her kid sister Kit (Lori Petty). Some of the best on-field storytelling I’ve seen, the script uses the game to tell its story rather than using it as a backdrop, and does so spectacularly. My personal favorite is Tom Hank’s performance is in this film. He plays a drunken former MLB star who learns to love life and the game of baseball again through the actions of the film. I could gush all day about what make A League of Their Own great, but I’ll leave it the film to speak for itself.

A remake of this movie would be Bad News... oh yeah...oops.

1. The Bad News Bears (1976) Dir. Michael Ritchie, Staring: Walter Matthau, Tatum O’ Neal and Jackie Earle Haley – A film that could never be made today, a film that captures a time in America brilliantly, and a film that presents us with an underdog so big you can’t help but root him and his team of little leaguers. Out of a career full of wonderful performances, Matthau shows his true genius as Coach Buttermaker, who is the real underdog of the film. Even though he is a terrible human, we really care for him and want him to learn his lesson. Tatum O’ Neal shines and leads a cast of young actors who are on-point in every scene. There are few moments in the film that seem shocking to us now (the language and actions of some of the young little leaguers is tame by today’s standards) but what is great about The Bad News Bears is that it really shines a light on what love is and what it truly means to care for someone. For me The Bad News Bears is the best baseball film all time, and one of my personal all time favorites.

Enjoy these great baseball films, and enjoy baseball season! From Josh here at Nerd 5, play ball!

Nerd 5 Presents: What We Learned This Week at the Movies - April 8-14, 2013

Well, in a week in which I thought I’d be ranting about how terrible most things are, Hollywood (and not Netflix) gave me some reasons to change my mind. But no worries, dear readers, there is plenty of ranting coming up. 

Movies Seen In Theaters This Week: 42, Evil Dead, The Host, Alice In Wonderland, The People vs. George Lucas  

Lesson 5: The Big Screen is the Best Screen

This is one of two films that are cheats. This week I saw Disney’s 1951 animated classic Alice In Wonderland on the “Big Screen.” How? As some of you may be aware, I teach and direct children’s theatre for a living, and this week we just finished a production of Alice in Wonderland and projected the film on the side of our theatre. It was wonderful. It’s not nearly the first time I’ve seen this, nor the first time this year, But this film is meant be seen on a big screen. Alice is beautiful. The animation of this classic film is just stunning to look at. It doesn’t try to be beautiful it just is (hint hint Tim Burton hint hint). This is some of the most creative, imaginative, and story-based animation ever made. If you ever get a chance to see it on a big screen, don’t miss it.

Lesson 4: It Never Hurts to Play It Close to the Vest

42 is just like its lead character. It’s strong, silent on the surface, yet has so much to say. I really enjoyed 42, which is the story of how Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball and became a major player in the civil rights movement. Though 42 never pushes any boundaries (and is everything that you expect it to be, right down to the melodramatic ending straight out of The Natural), I’m willing to forgive it. This films plays to baseball fans. I can’t say that it holds up for people that aren’t already interested in the subject matter or the sport, but Jackie makes a strong lead character and there are some very solid performances. Harrison Ford reminds us why he is one of the biggest actors of all time and gives a simply amazing performance as the owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, Branch Rickey. He and the lead, Chadwick Boseman, give two amazingly strong performances. Long story short, 42 is more than worth your time and for baseball fans like me, it will tug at your heart strings. (Look for the Nerd 5 Top 5 Best Baseball Films of All Time later this week. It’s my birthday present to you guys!) 

Lesson 3: Stephanie Meyer is THE WORST

There is nothing about The Host that I like. There is nothing that makes The Host watchable. There is nothing I can say that will sufficiently let you know how terrible The Host is. This is one of the drawbacks of living in a smaller community (for now – “Movin’ on up! To the West Side…”) is that instead of having smaller indie films to view, I’m stuck watching these terrible studio flops because there is nothing else to fill our theatres… Grrr… grrr. But let’s focus my anger on the real target. Stephanie Meyer. YOU HAVE RUNIED SO MANY THINGS THAT I LOVE! I hate that now we have a rash of sci-fi based love stories with so much potential that fail because no one is thinking about the premise! They’re all just trying to shlep the film to 13-year-olds who want a crap-tastic love story. This is just one of many Twilight knock offs, made worse by the fact that it’s from the same author, but The Host feels especially forced and is thrown together with an unforgivable lack of thought. Just toss all logic out the window when watching this thing. The Host = Pain.

The Evil Dead is back from the... dead.

Lesson 2: There is Always a Right Way…

I have no reason to like the new Evil Dead. It’s a horror film (which I typically hate). It’s a remake (which I nearly always hate) and yet, I really enjoyed watching Evil Dead. I was surprised by how much I loved watching this insanely gruesome film. Why was I so engrossed? IT USED LOGIC! Shocking, I know, but this film had every choice backed by logic and motivation and was shockingly effective. If you enjoy a good horror film, then Evil Dead is for you. I have to be honest, I personally don’t get scared by horror films, so I can’t say whether Evil Dead works on that level (although in the theater there were plenty of screaming people, two couples even walked out and came back when the “scary” scene was over, so I guess it is scary). What does Evil Dead do right? Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell (the director/writer and the star of the original three Evil Dead films) both served as producers for the 2013 reboot. As an audience member, it seems as if Rami and Campbell wanted to revisit the subject matter and retell the story with with new technology, but they were smart enough to realize that their original take on the subject matter had already been done (they did it), it exists and the fans love it. So why try to change, remake, or improve on the original? Why not let someone else make their own version and give them guidance? Let a new generation fall in love with a new film while still paying tribute to the old ones? This is what the new Evil Dead did. It’s a similar story, but it’s not the same. Honestly, it could very easily serve as a continuation of the older stories, but with a new cast of characters. That’s how I saw the film and that’s what makes it great.

Lesson 1: … And A Wrong Way

Has anyone gotten where this is going? Lesson #1 for the week, there is a WRONG way to revisit your work. This is where the film The People vs. George Lucas comes into play. I re-watched this documentary on Sunday before watching Evil Dead and it totally colored the way I viewed it. The People vs. George Lucas is a great documentary released in 2010 (it’s currently streaming on Netflix) and it explores the love/hate relationship that Lucas’ fans have with the director. But where does everyone’s problem with Lucas lay? That he goes back and tampers with his films. Lucas chooses to change the films we love instead of embracing them. It’s a little strange to praise Raimi and bash Lucas in the same breath, but I think that Raimi has learned from Lucas’ mistakes. Lucas is a visionary filmmaker, and for all the things we hate about what he does, we wouldn’t have many of the films we love (like the original Star Wars & Indiana Jones trilogies) without him. The People vs. George Lucas is a fascinating look at fans and their interactions with their nerd idols, and is very much worth finding to take a watch.

Top 5 Reasons That Spring Breakers is the 1st Must-See Film of 2013

 As I said earlier this week, you should never a judge a movie before seeing it. There have been plenty of times when a movie that looks bad has won me over, and vice versa. Judging by the ad campaign, Spring Breakers looks like any typical drunken, mind-numbing, college “coming of age” movie; but in honesty Spring Breakers belongs more in the art house than the frat house.

Like it or hate it, this movie will give you something to talk about.

Before I get too far into this film, let me give you the bottom line. I don’t love this film. There are parts of it that I despise – there are also parts that are beyond fascinating and that I can only describe as brilliant filmmaking (one scene in particular featuring James Franco and the Brittany Spears song “Everytime” is simply breath taking). It’s the polarizing nature of this film that makes it a must-see. While sitting in the theatre I found myself loathing the first 20 plus minutes of the film, asking myself “Why am I here? What am I watching? I shouldn’t be watching this. No one should be watching this. Is that gunshot sound effect used as a transition? Did he do it again? And again? You can snort coke off that part of the body? WHAT THE HELL AM I WATCHING?” I felt dirty and couldn’t wait to rip into this film. But then Franco enters, a plot develops, and this film takes off. Spring Breakers sticks with you, and days later I want to watch it again. I can’t get this film out of my brain. I honestly can’t decide if this is a masterpiece or piece of trash because at times it’s (skillfully) both.

Director Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo, Trash Humpers) has a clear vision and everything on screen is a clear choice. At times there is nothing more than amateur porn onscreen, but in the very next moment flips the tables and Korine proves to be an avant-garde filmmaker. Korine aims to tell the story through the eyes of today’s youth, and it’s clear that the story and characters find nothing wrong with happens in the film nor do they judge their own circumstance. Speaking of, it’s really hard to not hold the dicey subject matter against this film, but after having a while to sit on Spring Breakers, I can see that it was needed to tell Korine’s story. As blunt and in-your-face as this film is, I don’t think you could have made it any other way. Without Korine filming “Spring Break” in a very raw, dirty way, this film would have been every cliché frat house film that it ridicules. In the film, Korine attacks all the things that his characters and “target” audience hold dear - a common thing among popular entertainment currently. Korine assumes (correctly) that most members of his audience will not even realize that their way of life is being attacked, instead audience members see Spring Breakers as glorifying their dreams. After leaving the theatre, I overheard the conversation of three college-age (I am assuming) girls and they were making a vow to live that movie next spring break… goodness help the youth of America.

After what turned into a bonus 6^th reason to see the film, let’s jump into my actual top five reasons why Spring Breakers is the first must-see film of 2013.

5. Are We Really Living the American Dream?

Korine has a clear visual style, and film is full of Neon Candy Colored lights, clothes, settings, and more. The backdrop of this film is meant to look like a bright dream - which is highlighted by Franco’s character ‘Alien’ claiming how spring break is “The dream y’all, the American dream y’all.” With that said, the world created in Spring Breakers a highly sexualized male-fantasy version of the American dream. There is not a woman in the film who is not used as sex object, including the “heroines” of the film, who we are to believe are in control the entire time. What kind of dream are we living? Everything above, from candy-colors to rampant drug and alcohol use, are all used to give the characters a temporary high in their never-ending search for the American Dream. Really it leaves them (and the audience) with a feeling of emptiness and longing that is harmful to the characters and the film while being exactly what the film needs and what Korine has intended. 

4. Girls Gone Wild… No… Wait, sorry… Stupid. Girls Gone Stupid

One of my main issues with this film is the first act. Three of the four main characters are almost completely indistinguishable from each other. They are shallow, full of clichés, and impossible to tell apart whether they’re masked or not. The only one to distinguish herself is Faith. Yes, her character is named Faith because she is a good girl who has is questioning her faith… for all the things that Spring Breakers is, subtle is not one of them. Back on track here, Faith (played by Selena Gomez) is the character that goes to spring break in a search for self and quickly finds (through a ton of breathy voiceovers) that she has found her own paradise. She is finding who she is and never wants to leave. As the film continues, our characters get into trouble and her voiceovers turns into whining about how their trip wasn’t supposed to end like this and that they don’t deserve what has happened to them (yes it is supposed to end like this and yes you do). It is at this moment that she realizes that even the deepest of our four main characters is nothing more than a vapid, shallow, cardboard cutout walking through life doing what you’re “supposed to” and society says is acceptable.

My second major issue is this, (and it’s in the trailers, so no spoiler intended) within the first 10 minutes Candy, Brit, and Cotty (the other three girls) rob a local Chicken Shack to get enough money for spring break in Florida. Their reason for doing this? THEY WERE BORED!!! Are you kidding me? This is motivation enough to rob a Chicken Shack? The characters constantly whine about seeing the same thing every day, doing the same thing all the time, they need to get out… SO WORK FOR IT! You whiney little… It was at this moment in theater that I realized I was never going to root for these characters, and in fact started to actively root for them to keep making terrible life choices. That may be why I love Franco’s character so much in this film (but we’ll get there). Why are these three girls even in college? Did mommy and daddy pay for you to be there? If your only way to get what you want is to steal it, then why would I believe that you have what it takes to succeed at anything in life, especially anything that takes hard work. This honestly was why I hated of the first third of this film, but these characters get what coming to them, some learn from it others don’t. That’s where it gets interesting. 

3. Hell on Earth

Faith claims at one point that she has found her paradise, her Garden of Eden. This, coupled with the backdrop of heaven on earth, serves as a great contrast to an environment filled with heavy doses of sex, drugs, a total disregard of the future, and a life of anonymous sin. This contrast of Heaven and Hell drives home the point that someone’s heaven is someone else’s hell. Shots linger too long on glassy-eyed wasted college students who are using scary amounts of drugs and alcohol. Spirng Breakers looks at the dark side of films like Superbad, 21 and Over, and other college party films. It shines a light and shows the audience that this is what they look like, this is how they act, then asks the question: is this how you want to turn out? Would you make the easier choice of staying in Hell or would you work to make your way toward Heaven? One character choses the latter and gives us the most inspired, gripping scene of the film.

2. James Franco is the Reason to see Spring Breakers

I have a love/hate relationship with James Franco. I’ve met the guy, and let’s just say he wasn’t the most pleasant person, but he also wasn’t terrible. But he is an amazing actor when he cares about the project – and oh my goodness he cares about Alien. Franco is hands-down the reason to see this film. He gives a performance that is crazy good and full of depth, finds different levels within the character, and is honest in every moment. Alien is a character that wants to be dangerous, but he never is. His struggle makes him the most fascinating character of the film. From the first time I saw him on screen, I wanted the movie to be about him. This is easily the best performance of the year so far, but by the time award season rolls around it will be all but forgotten. Franco begs to seen in this film and should not be missed. A quick side on Korine: he gets fantastic performances out of all of his actors. With two Disney stars looking to break their image in this film, Korine manages to get us to forget who we’re watching and focus on the characters. This may be the best work that any of these former Disney stars will do, and for that I give a tip of my hat to Korine to know how to get the best out of his actors.

1. We Are… We Were The Youth of the Nation

For time immemorial, college kids have been flocking to Florida or California beaches to escape from life and “get stupid” for a couple of days. It’s something that is accepted as part of life. I never did it, but then again I’m weird because I rarely drink, and have never tried a cigarette, weed, or any other drug for that matter. In fact, I’m allergic to weed, so that’s something I’ll never (nor would I want to) try. So this entire concept is foreign to me, watching people make the choice to go somewhere and just forget all about life by actually forgetting their life for a few days is just not something I’d choose to do (of course I’ve been on vacation – we all need one – but I prefer to remember them. For the record my ideal vacation spot is anywhere with Disney in the title). That said, I came into Spring Breakers wanting to judge the characters for their choices and left with a whole new set of questions. The film challenges us to think about what we call ‘Spring Break.’ Is this the American Dream? The film asks us the questions: where have we gone as a society by allowing it? Why do need to escape from life to this? What’s the end of the slippery slope? They answer this question with a story arc that starts as party film and turns to a crazy crime story without blinking an eye. Spring Breakers is not a lecture, it’s not cautionary tale, nor is it an endorsement, it makes you think about where we are and what we did to get here. It will frustrate parents as much as it will tempt and scare teens. Korine allows his characters to fall off the cliff because that’s where society has led them, he pulls no punches.

In the end Spring Breakers is equal parts disgusting, stupid, thrilling, compassionate (at least for Alien), and thought provoking. It forces us to see the nightmares in front of us through the lenses of generations’ reckless dreamers. It’s never perfect, but always provocative and simply put Spring Breakers begs to be seen.

Nerd 5 Presents: What We Learned This Week at the Movies - April 1-7, 2013

It’s the end of the first week of April, and we’re inching closer and closer to summer and with it the start of some good movies finally being released. Well, let’s see if there are any diamonds among the rough right now.

Movies Seen In Theatres This Week: The Croods, Olympus Has Fallen, G. I. Joe: Retaliation, Spring Breakers, Jurassic Park 3D

Lesson 5.  Sometimes All You Need is 5 Words

Stupid. Dull. Sexist. Unoriginal. Useless. The only five words you need to describe G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Lesson 4. The Formula For Animated Success

So The Croods is a perfectly acceptable film. It was enjoyable enough and it was a perfect paint by numbers. If you follow the well trodden path, you are going to get a very, very pretty film – which The Croods is. The characters have arcs that are simple to follow, and a story that hits every predictable plot point. So if it gets all these things right, what’s wrong with The Croods? Even the best paint by numbers is nothing special because you are following someone else’s formula. I’m not saying that you always have re-invent the wheel (caveman pun intended) with each film, but I am saying that you need to make it your own. There is nothing new or unique about this film. It all feels like we’ve seen it before, we know where it’s going – and it’s perfectly enjoyable ride – but nothing that sticks with you. Yes, this film is for kids and to them all the stuff that I am complaining about doesn’t matter because it is the first time they’ve seen it, but if you want to stand the test of time, not just have the admiration of one generation, then make films for all and not for just for kids.

Lesson 3.  Never Judge a Film by Its Poster

Or its trailer, or its cast, or reputation that precedes it. Only judge after having seen it. This lesson is brought to you by the film Spring Breakers… It’s not what you think it is, It’s not what it appears to be, but it is worth your time. For a more in depth look at Spring Breakers check back later this week as I dive deeper into this film as I’ll give you the Nerd 5 Top 5 Reasons Spring Breakers is the First Must See Film of 2013.

Lesson 2. 90’s Action Films Will Never Die

If you had told me that Olympus Has Fallen was made produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and released in the ‘90s, I would have been like “uh… that makes perfect sense.” Olympus Has Fallen  is an example a good action film, yes as a child of the ‘90s this film feels right, but let’s dive into what make this a worthy action film. First off, it’s not overtly complicated; there are two simple goals in this film: Save the president and don’t die. Second off, all the actors of this film play it with honesty, find the humor when appropriate, and give gravity to the material. Third, the characters make sense, theirl choices (no matter how crazy) are grounded with honest feelings. Sure, the effects are not the best, which I am assuming is why this was released in March and not June or July, but if you get past that (which is easy to do) then this is a very enjoyable watch. 

Lesson 1. Raptors Can Open Doors!

I rave about Movie Pass quite often and wonderful the service is, but one of the limitations is that you can’t see 3D films, which 99% of the time I could care less about. But this week Jurassic Park was rereleased into theaters with the obligatory 3D treatment. I’m not a fan of 3D rereleases, but this is Jurassic Park. When I first heard that this was happening I was like, “Alright, this is a money grab that I can get behind!” So what kind of film can get me to shell out money on top of my monthly Movie Pass fee AND see a film in 3D? Jurassic Park. One of the greatest summer blockbusters of ALL TIME. The joy of this film is that it makes me feel like a kid again. The joy, the fear, the excitement… I found myself lost in this nearly perfect film all over again. The scene in front of the T-Rex pen at night is simply one of the best scenes in all of film history, nothing short of amazing. If you’ve not seen this movie, find a way to see it. But if you have seen, and it’s possible that you’ve only seen in on the small screen. Take a chance to see in a movie theatre, or simply go see it AGAIN in a movie theatre. Films are meant to be seen on the big screen, there is so much detail lost when you get home and going the theatre to see a film is great. Take the chance to Jurassic Park in theaters again. It’s a great experience and the 3D isn’t distracting (all it is the lame attempt to add depth the picture, which you pretty quickly forget about). Get lost in the amazing film that is Jurassic Par. Never forget, however, the most important lesson of the film. RAPTORS CAN OPEN DOORS!

To Sir With Love: A Tribute to Roger Ebert

I remember when I first discovered that television and movies were something that people actually MADE. I was sitting on the couch, a few feet from my father (who was still the ultimate voice of authority) watching an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The captain and all his red shirts had charged off on some unlikely scheme that I knew was doomed to disaster, so I turned to my dad and asked: “Why did they do that? It doesn't make any sense.” To which my dad responded (as he still does to any film criticism) “Because it’s in the script.”

From that time on I knew the score. The people and worlds that enthralled me on the screen were creations, puppets of real people who wrote stories and made props and pretended on camera. A little bit of the magic died for me, but a new bit of magic took its place. Why did they do things the way they did? What was right and what was wrong? And how do I put into words the feelings I get when I watch a film, how do I even know why I feel what I feel?

Again, it was my father who introduced me to the next piece of knowledge that would change the way I thought about entertainment. Though my dad - who worked three jobs for little pay to provide for five children - didn't stay awake through more than a handful of movies during my entire childhood (probably because of his struggle with severe health problems while also working so tirelessly) he made a point of watching two men talk about movies on PBS. The two, a toad-like man in huge glasses, and a skinny, balding naysayer, would give their trademark thumbs up or thumbs down, and if both thumbs were down, then my dad, who didn't buy into film criticism, would declare that THAT was the movie we were going to see.

This was how I found Siskel and Ebert at the Movies.

Siskel and Ebert were a great pairing. Like a classic comedy duo, one was fat, one skinny, one short, one tall, one quiet and sarcastic, one loud and bombastic. Both were from Chicago, and both wore horrible 90’s sweaters and lounged around in what looked like the oddest movie theater I’d ever seen. They were The Muppet Show’s Waldorf and Statler in the flesh, and like those grumpy old puppets they groused and argued their way through each week’s releases with obvious relish. I loved watching them describe all the movies I was either too young or too poor to see, and as I watched them more and more it made me realize that there was more to movies than passive viewing. That film should start a conversation and make statements that could stay with you beyond the end credits. That their creators can and should be questioned, and that a meaningful story passionately told is far more important than flash or popularity or box office figures.

My favorite by far was Ebert. Though he WAS toad-like and sometimes even seemed cold blooded, he was funny. He made me laugh and by doing so he made me think. He achieved many great things in his life, such as being the first film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize, and the first to place his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but numbered among his successes is the 10 year-old boy who looked for the story elements in George of the Jungle, or was scandalized by his thumbs down to The Pagemaster, or eventually grew to try his hand at criticism himself. Anything I type in this blog is my meager attempt to be as fair, as erudite, and as funny as that man in owlish glasses who existed in my TV along with all of the other characters he spoke about week to week.

There are many better writers than I that will talk about Roger Ebert’s life, his triumphs, his long struggle with illness, and the vast affect he had on entertainment in America, but I can only speak to his legacy in my own life. He taught me that the worlds and characters I love ARE magic. Even more so now than when I was 10, because he gave me the tools to appreciate the love and craft that goes into making the best movies work. He also taught that I’m a part of the movie. That the source of a film’s power is what I bring to it as a viewer, and what I carry away with me. I make the magic too. If he was faced then with that little boy confused by Star Trek, Ebert might have quoted himself: “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions never lie to you.”

I hope that his family finds some peace over the coming days, as does Roger. He wrote all the way to the end, saying: “When I am writing, my problems become invisible, and I am the same person I always was, All is well. I am as I should be.” If there is some heaven, he’ll be writing still.

PS: When Esquire magazine asked him what movie would be shown beyond the pearly gates, and what snacks would be served, he answered, “Citizen Kane and vanilla Häagen-Dazs ice cream.” I can see him there, sweater and all.

PPS: Here’s just one person who said all this far better than me:

"Roger, I hope you're in an infinite movie palace, watching every film the great directors only dreamed of making. RIP,” -- Patton Oswalt