Nerd 5 Presents: What We Learned This Week at the Movies: March 11-17, 2013

Hey all! Hope you had a good week. Only two films to talk about this week. I should be seeing some bigger name films over the next week, but I needed to finish catching up on the lesser known films that are out and only had time for two. Hope you enjoy!

Movies Seen In Theatres This Week: Dead Man Down, Quartet

Lesson 5. Dustin Hoffman is an Old Dog Learning New Tricks

Suffering from an Oscar hangover and a bad case of the winter doldrums, I sought out Quartet. A film that had an outside shot of awards but fell just short, however, ends up being very heartwarming.  Hoffman takes his first time behind the camera and comes off as a very caring director who knows how to get the best out of his actors. The film is simple and predicable, but it’s a good chance to see Hoffman explore the medium and have some fun with a talented group of actors.

Lesson 4. Maggie Smith can ACTUALLY Do No Wrong

Speaking of talented actors! MAGGIE SMITH can do no wrong. Do I need to say more? NO…? Good. But I will anyway – because that’s what I do. Quartet has a strong ensemble cast including Smith, Tom Courtenay, Billy Connolly (WHO IS AWESOME), Pauline Collins, Sheridan Smith and Albus Dumbledore 2.0… oh, I mean Michael Gambon. But it’s Smith, who steals this. The lesson of this week is to go see anything that Professor McGonagall… oh, I mean Maggie Smith, is in. I should get this problem fixed… But Snape is so good in Die Hard!

Lesson 3.  Bring Out the Stars! Give Them a Good Script!

If I tell you that I saw a film that stars Noomi Rapace, Terrence Howard, Dominic Cooper and F. Murray Abraham - You’re in, right? I know I am. Okay, well what if I tell you that the film’s lead is Colin Farrell? I’m still in, but I’m hesitant. So I there I sit in Dead Man Down, really enjoying the first 15 minutes and all of the great people in this film… then it all goes quickly downhill from there. This thing falls APART, and the first reason is that the screenwriter forgets what logic is. This story is convoluted and contrived at the same time! But not worthy of going into… Let’s not reason as to why Dead Man Down is the one of the most painful movie watching experience of 2013… so far.

Lesson 2. Colin Farrell is a Less Talented Nicholas Cage

Yes! I said it. I’ll say it again! Colin Farrell is a less talented Nicholas Cage. Everyone is so quick to defend Farrell. “Oh come… Have you seen In Bruges? He’s great in that” (Jeff’s first argument!). Yes. He is great in In Bruges, but that’s it!!! (Jeff: “Aww man…). One movie does not a good actor make, if anything it speaks more to the script and director of In Bruges: the fantastic Martin McDonagh. Farrell started out strong and now will just say yes to anything. I will challenge you to find another film that is good BECAUSE of Farrell, this dude makes anything and makes it poorly. Sound like anyone? Yes Cage, Nic Cage. Who started out on fire and gave us classics like Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas, and Wild at Heart, then became the most undiscerning actor of our generation. For every Kick Ass and Adaptation we also get Season of the Witch and Bangkok Dangerous. I love Cage, he CAN be great. I hate Farrell, he can’t be anything more than good. Farrell has done nothing to the level of Cage and is just as terrible at picking projects. From now on, if Farrell is the lead… I’m out.

Lesson 1. Jim Carrey is Past Him Prime, Halle Berry is Not

Sometimes we can learn something by not seeing films. Let’s take a look at the box office totals for this week. While it’s clear that The Great and Powerful Oz is going to be #1 again at the box office, the race for #2 became more than a little shocking. Halle Berry’s The Call will beat The Amazing Burt Wonderstone starring Steve Carell and Jim Carrey. Now, how much money a film makes has nothing to do with if it’s good or not. But the lesson here is simple, we are done with Jim Carrey. He is going to need to something big to save his career. Pairing him with Carell should have been box office gold, but it’s not 1995… heck it’s not even 2005. Yet, Berry is finding away to make a thriller about a 911 operator actually trying to stop a killer (rather than… TELLING THE POLICE!) box office relevant. So, from this point forward Halle Berry is still a box office draw, Jim Carrey is not.