Nerd 5's Top 5 Directors That Need to Make a Zombie Film

Well, here it is: the first article for Nerd 5! It’s like a high five, but over the internet. With a lot more reading. And there’s actually no physical contact. So… not exactly like a high five… But if you are reading this then you’ve read the home page and know what we are all about, so let’s jump right in.

This topic comes from a conversation we had about the recent, and sadly not that shocking, trend of “zombie” type deaths that have been in the news. A man eating another man’s face by the side of the road who only stopped after the police shot him in the head, a woman who dismembered and ate her baby… you know what? Let’s not go there, its creepy enough as it is. We were looking for our first topic, and both of us are film nerds; so we put two and two together we came up with Top 5 Directors That Need to Make a Zombie Film.

            The Guidelines: 

This week it’s very simple, a director who we think would make a good zombie film that hasn’t made one before.

            Who does this rule out?

Obviously, anyone who has made a zombie film, including great directors like Danny Boyle (28 Days Later) and Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), as well as some less-great but visually gifted directors like Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead).

            Josh’s List:

5. Roland Emmerich (Anonymous, Independence Day) ­­– Emmerich is not the best director in the world, and sometimes his projects aren’t any good at all (see 2012, The Day After Tomorrow) but let’s look at what most of his films have in common. The films mentioned above as well as the 1998’s Godzilla and 2000’s The Patriot are sprawling, epics film with an huge ensemble casts. On top of that, 4 of the 5 films deal with an end-of-the-world situations, and all deal with death in general. What Emmerich does well is put his characters in situations that allow them to thrive or die. A zombie apocalypse is perfect for Emmerich. We could follow several sets of characters as they deal with the apocalypse and search for salvation (a common theme in his films), as well as have a look at the sheer size of the apocalypse. Get the gore on a global scale. Roland Emmerich is the perfect director to make that zombie film.

4. Billy Wilder (Some Like It Hot, Sunset Blvd., The Apartment) – This is more of a dream than anything, sadly Billy Wilder passed away in 2002. But in his time Wilder was, arguably, the greatest director alive. Wilder is a very detailed-oriented filmmaker. Every shot is in his films for a reason, every line of his scripts moves the story forward, and every character is well rounded and fully formed. I really don’t have a bad thing to say about Wilder. As for why he would make a great Zombie film, one word: Tone. Wilder set a tone, a mood, and a style that was perfect for whatever his script called for. Some Like it Hot is a very broad comedy, The Apartment is a story of the everyman dealing with his overbearing boss, and Sunset Blvd. is a dark tale of the underside of fame. Each one of these films (as well as his others) hit their note nearly perfectly. Wilder knows how to visually tell a story, you could turn the sound off and still follow what’s going on, feel for the characters, and be wrapped up in the film; something that would be a great advantage in making a zombie film.

3. Nicholas Winding Refn (Drive) – Alright this is totally based off of one film, but holy crap what film that was! Drive broke on the scene last year and earned tons of critical praise, an intense fan following, and the Cannes Film Festivals Best Director award. What about Drive makes me think that Winding Refn would make a great zombie film? Intensity. Just watching Drive gets your heart racing (at least mine), and I was totally sucked into the film. If he brings that to the genre of zombie deaths, heads flying and blood and guts, then Winding Refn would make one of the most intense and thoroughly entreating zombie films ever.

2. The Coen Brothers (Fargo, No Country for Old Men, O Brother Where Art Thou?) – I’m not going to spend a bunch of time saying why the Coen Brothers would make a great zombie film, because… well… they’re the Coen Brothers. Simply put, anything they make is gold. If you’ve seen any Coen Brothers movies (and there are far too many good ones to name them here) then you know that they immerse you in their style and create a world that’s uniquely theirs. Also simply put, a Coen Brothers zombie film would be the most frightening, stylized, and purely awesome zombie film there has ever been.

1. Joss Whedon (The Avengers, Serenity, Buffy The Vampire Slayer) – This might be an obvious name to think of, however, Whedon has never made a zombie film. He’s dealt with Vampires, Aliens, and Reavers but never zombies. Anything that he touches has that little bit of Joss Whedon magic. His stories are always a great mix of drama and humor, and filled with amazing characters that you instantly love and care about. Whedon has a way of knowing exactly what the story needs at exactly the right time. Visually he puts it all together. He is a fantastic storyteller and an even better filmmaker.

Jeff’s List:

5. Woody Allen (Midnight in Paris, Match Point, Annie Hall, and so on, and so on, to before “the talkies” existed) ­­–I’m not saying he should make this movie, I’m just saying I’d like to see this movie. Would it be manic depressive zombies in Manhattan trying to find love over bagels and shmear, or a dark, brooding, unexpected drama like Match Point? You tell me. I think I’d rather the first.

4. Rian Johnson (Brick, The Brothers Bloom, Looper) – I have no idea what this movie would be, because Johnson has the rare and invaluable talent of keeping his audience guessing. He’s also proven himself to be a director who can deliver stunning visuals that heighten great performances. He MacGyvered together Brick with three dollars in change, a paperclip, and a camera he made out of a tube sock and a Mexican coke bottle. Give this man a budget and let him go. He’ll make a zombie film so spectacular that you’ll watch it five times, and so smart that on the fifth time it will still make you say “Ohhhhh, I get it!”

3. Danny Boyle (28 Days Later) – 28 Days Later is an epidemic film, not a zombie apocalypse. It doesn’t count.

Just kidding. I only put that in here to make Josh mad. But hey, he would do a good job.

Honestly, James Cameron comes to mind. Re-watch Aliens and remember that there is no cgi in that movie whatsoever. Then watch Avatar and see him do the opposite. He has such strong vision and such genius that he creates the technology he needs. Nothing limits his storytelling, and Canadian or not, he’s a damn fine storyteller.

2. Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator) – No! I haven’t seen Prometheus yet! Stop talking about it all the time, I don’t want any spoilers! Oh why can’t I go and enjoy this probably over-hyped but nonetheless awesome movie in my own time?

Ridley Scott builds worlds. It’s what he prides himself on most as a filmmaker. When he does it right, he does it better than anybody. He can create dystopian futures, dystopian pasts, and terrifyingly dystopian, xenomorph-infested, spacecrafts. A lot of dystopia going on. What Scott hasn’t yet managed (at least that I’ve seen) is to tackle a story that happens in the world we actually live in. His attempts at this, Matchstick Men, Hannibal, and for God’s sake A Good Year, have been disappointments, especially when you compare them to his own greatest works. This time I don’t want him to create a world, but to destroy ours and build another from the rubble. Have fun Ridley. I look forward to version six: The Final, Final, Super Ultimate, I’m-Nearly-Done With-It, Director’s Cut.

1. Joss Whedon (Is this guy already taken? I shouldn’t have let Josh go first) – Ok. Well, let’s at least have him write it.