We Made a Movie! The 'Seattle Bites' Trailer is Now Available!

The writers of Nerd 5 made a movie! You've listened to us cut other filmmakers to size... it was about time we put our money were our mouths (or keyboards) are. Take a look!

Starring

Justin Brown

Chauncey Trask

Amanda Keogh

Andy Lowe

Heather Wright

Alex Davis-Brazill

Josh Darby

Chris Graddon

Jessica Matheson

with  Jason Fortman

and   Jeff Carpenter

Produced by Jeff Carpenter, Josh Darby, Jason Fortman

Production Design  and  Props by Heather Wright

Additional Props by Bridget Summers

Makeup Assistant Samantha Armitage

Assistant Director Josh Darby

2nd Assistant Director Jason Fortman

Music  By Devilwood

Written  and  Directed  by  Jeff Carpenter

 

SEATTLE BITES

Watch the official trailer now! http://youtu.be/17aVuikB4Fw

Music by Devilwood, more information here:https://www.facebook.com/devilwoodrocks

Talkin' in the Movies: The Good, The Bad, and Ya Know...

JOSH

So we’re here to talk about the best drinking buddies movie of the summer... Monster's University, right?

JEFF

I haven't seen that one... do they go on a drunken bender, only narrowly escaping with their lives? If so, I'm WAY more excited. Plus kudos to Pixar for always breaking new ground.

JOSH

Spoilers Jeffrey, spoilers.

THE WORLD’S END: RAVE

But I suppose we could talk about another amazing drunken bender, how about The World's End? Sound good?

JEFF

Sounds GREAT. I loved this movie, which is the third and final chapter of Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Nick Frost's "Cornetto Trilogy,” along with Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

It's actually the first of the three I've been able to watch in theaters. And hopefully everyone else will too. It's our reward for an overall crappy set of summer blockbusters.

JOSH

Overall crappy set of summer blockbusters, that's an understatement. Most of the big budget studio films have be nothing shy of atrocious, but The World's End continues this summer’s trend of great smaller-budget films. The World's End continues trend of Edgar Wright films that are just complete off the wall bonkers, fast paced dialogue, amazing editing, well formed and well written characters, a perfect tone from start to finish, getting fantastic performances from his actors and full of emotion and heart. The World's End is full of action and comedy on many levels and it all comes from honesty which makes it even better.

JEFF

It's familiar territory for the trilogy, since it does follow a small emotional story set against a large-scope sci-fi backdrop, but it still sets itself off really nicely. We see a role reversal for our main characters for instance. Simon Pegg normally plays the more put together of the two, while Nick Frost gets to be our slobbier loose cannon, but in this film it's the opposite. Frost is the intelligent, stable one while Pegg, as Gary King, is almost completely out of control.

 JOSH

True story, and it works really well for those two to swap roles. I would even go out on a limb and say that even though the characters are.... somewhat... familiar, in The World's End we see Pegg and Frost playing characters that are dealing with deeper issues than in the other two films. Pegg's character of Gary in particular goes to some dark places in this film.

JEFF

YES! I would agree that though the final conflict of this film is way outside the norm, the central conflict of the characters is the most real of the three films, and certainly takes us to a much darker place emotionally than even, well, shooting your zombie mom in the face as an example.

Wright can direct action like nobody's business. This film has the best fight sequences of any film I've seen since Scott Pilgrim - another Wright movie! Every sequence was exciting, visually stunning, revealed character, and best of all, Wright mixes comedy and action seamlessly in each. Try to do that Mr. Bay.

JOSH

Yes, though Wright is not the be-all-end-all of action sequences. In fact I think that he's a good filmmaker and recently he's been working in action sequences. I think what he tries to do is give you a unique way to look at what he's shooting while still allowing you to follow what's happening in the scene. He's just a good director and because of this he makes good action sequences.

JEFF

Well said. I definitely want to mention the supporting cast. While Worlds End had very clear leads, it does have a strong ensemble, including Paddy Considine, Martin Freeman and the best uses I've seen of Eddie Marsan and Rosamund Pike. Marsan has been relegated to mostly villain roles for the last decade, and usually not in good material (Hancock, MI3, etc.). In this film he's charming and steals many scenes as the "baby" of the group, loveable and soft-hearted. Pike is also an actress who is wonderful, but hasn't been properly shown off in a lot of her other projects, including as Bond girl for old-man Brosnan in his swan-song, Die Another Day. She's funny! It's good to see.

JOSH

It was a great cast all around. I really enjoyed Freeman in his part, he's just an actor that gets it and it's great to see him show his comedic chops (before he goes on another 17-hour theatrical Hobbit Journey - but the real fans are waiting for the 26 hour extended edition where they add scenes from J.R.R. Tolkien’s grocery list.). The supporting cast was very well placed and I loved the cameo of Bill Nighy the Science Guy, plus it's always good to see Filtch (David Bradley) cleaning up messes and saving the day with our heroes. In addition, there are at least three distinct times where actors in the film use moves from the amazing actor known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. It's a great way to reference the wrestler and give us fans a little extra nod. Just one example the little things that Wright, Pegg and Frost add to their films that give them an insane amount of re-watch ability.

 I don't really have a bad word to say about any aspect of The World's End. So I think I'm good to give my last two cents on the film and say it was an amazing piece that lives up to every expectation and will easily be the comedy of the year and one of my personal favorites. Good on you Brits! A+ Film

JEFF

A+ SEE IT PEOPLE!

Plus we can't say anything more without spoiling it anyway.

KICKASS 2: JEFF: PAN/JOSH: OK

We've just had a rave, how about we move on to a film I was also really excited for that managed to sucker punch my soul.

JOSH

Kick-Ass 2 is a polarizing film, and for once I'm on the positive side of the argument. But that's all about expectations.

JEFF

You expected crap and got a slightly below average movie, I expected a great action/comedy and got dashed on the rocks.

If I had also expected nothing, I might have been fine (like I was with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Instead I got what felt like a personal insult every time this sequel fell short of its well-made original. Kick Ass is a solid B+ film, mostly due to the great direction of Matthew Vaughn. Kick Ass 2 lacks Vaughn, a coherent script, or production value. We're left with a lot of hackneyed schlock that attempts to be comedy, and an emotional journey that feels redundant, because it is.

JOSH

I think you underestimate how much I enjoyed this film. If you cut out the section that tired to be Clueless/Mean Girls, I really would have enjoyed a lot of what was here. I will agree that I expected crap because I don't hold the first film up as anything more than a surprisingly fun but flawed film. And That's what I got with this one. A surprisingly fun but flawed film, although more flawed and less fun then the first.

Let's dig into the real issue of this film: people named Jeff... Wadlow to be specific. You bring up Vaughn as a reason the first film is good. Vaughn is a great director who knows what he's doing, case and point the first Kick Ass film, Stardust (a surprisingly fun sci-fi family film that I would say is criminally underrated) Layer Cake and most recently X-men: First Class. In terms of what he brought to the first film, it's all the stuff you loved. He made it better. Wadlow, the director of the completely unwatchable Cry-Wolf.... and nothing else, lowered the quality this film. Most things that were good, were good because you liked them from the first film. That said, I think there is a good premise, strong supporting characters and enough good action, and broad comedy lifting up a bad script to make this movie watchable.

Don't get me wrong, some of the dumbest and worst moments of 2013 are in this film, the puke stick or whatever it's called is just AWEFUL, but for me there is enough around that terrible stuff to make this not the worst thing ever. I especially enjoyed the bits with.... dare I say it... Jim Carrey. He was actually great (as were all of the Justice Friends). Carrey brought it, and he serves as the moral compass of the film, I sadly wish there was more of him.

I think it comes down to this, If Vaughn was still attached, this would have been better plan and simple. With Wadlow it becomes a mess, but an enjoyable mess for this film fan.

JEFF

Fair enough. Wadlow is the man to point the finger at, as writer and director he had the most control over this film. I know that the source comic of Kick Ass 2 is also far weaker than the original, but as writer of the film you have the chance to rethink the world, and as director, you have the responsibility to create the world of your script in a way that's emotionally and visually cohesive. Basically the page to screen journey of Kick Ass 2 was Wadlow failing once, and then following up with more failure.

You're right that this film has solid MOMENTS that are very enjoyable, but just as many moments that are repugnant, with a lot of filler in between.

Good things for me about this film: Carrey, and the fact that Donald Faison got a paycheck.

JOSH

I also quite enjoyed Clark Duke in this film, as well as the three leads. Chloe Grace-Moretz, Aaron Paul-Johnson and Christopher Mintz-Plasse did what they could with what they were given. I think one of our main topics of disagreement is journey of Kick Ass himself. I think this bothered you more. The characters arcs seemed to be okay for me within the context of the story and there was actually a good message (that was lost far too early, which really hurt the film). Thoughts on where Kick Ass and Hit Girl started the film and their journey through?

JEFF

Kick Ass is re-entering the super-hero world, so he'll obviously be rusty. This excuses a certain amount of retreading the same ground as the original. I just felt that they set the clock back too far. Kick Ass has a powerful arc from complete naiveté to fighter and killer in the first film, so I would think that some of that would still spill over to the sequel. It felt like he lost the lessons he learned so painfully and we had to watch him experience much the same trials to end up in a very similar place. Though he now lands on the idea that being a super hero only creates chaos rather than abating it, it's not enough of a reversal to make it worthwhile for me, and I felt it squandered the chance to take this character even further than the original. This is truly a guy who has places to go.

Hit Girl on the other hand does go beyond the original and continues on her path toward adulthood. This is great! She should have the struggles of a teenager. This was hands-down HER movie, and she was the emotional core. In light of this I'd love to see them capitalize on this and not give her the middle of the movie, only to switch focus away from her almost entirely at the end. Plus there are only so many times she can ride off into the sunset. Where the hell is she going? They've taken EVERYTHING away from the character now, she doesn't need to ride off. It's just to look cool.

JOSH

Interesting because Hit Girl’s entire arc of trying to be a typical teenage girl was extremely painful to me. First, let's buy for a second rent-a-dads idea to set her up with the popular girls actually works and she gets in with them. WHY would she ever go along with this plan? She was raised by a COMPLETE PSYCHO who bred her to kill and do nothing else. Why would she even care about what they think, who they are, what they like? She starts trying to fit even before rent-a-dad tells her some stupid made up bull crap that her dad wanted her to be normal and protected. That is a pile of garbage.

Okay, but let's say that I buy that she wants to a part of The Plastics, why in all that is good and holy would they ever accept a girl like her? She has serious emotional problems, she's been killing people since she 10. And then they turn on here and pull a Carrie (remake also staring Chloe Grace-Moretz this October) because she can dance better then the blonde 80’s stereotype? And why would Rent-a-dad ever even think that this girl could live a normal life. You should know better!

If that's the part that worked for you, we really did see different movies because I totally thought the middle 45 minutes of the film was a waste of space, I just wanted her to keep kicking ass and taking names.

JEFF

I'm not saying what they did with Hit Girl in the film was good, just that it was different, with the seeds of a good idea. They took her character to new places; they just didn't do it well. Kick Ass didn't go anywhere new at all. Wadlow had a good idea for Hit Girl, but is incapable of delivering on it because he's an idiot. Instead it's Carrie meets Mean Girls, like you said. As for Kick Ass, he doesn't need to be the man he becomes at the end of the first film, but he can't go back to being the boy he was at the beginning of the first film either. That kid is, at least in part, dead. Again Wadlo

w didn't know better, because he's an idiot.

JOSH

Not having read the comic, I would probably say that seed comes from there and Wadlow messed it up.

It comes down to this, you either buy what the film is selling and forgive its many many flaws and enjoy the ride as best you can. Or you don't “smell what The Rock is cooking” and the film becomes a giant piece of garbage. Weirdly enough I think Kick Ass 2 is getting needless lampooned. It's not great, in fact it's not even good, but for me it's above average at best. I came out with an overall good experience, a few thing to rant about (okay quite a few things to rant about) but in all honestly there was some really good fight sequences in this film and I thought it visually held together nicely. There were the seeds of something worthwhile here. Kick Ass 2 won’t be shooting up the cult popularity charts like the first one did, but it's by no means the worst Superhero I've seen (Spider-Man 3 holds that dubious crown) and it's by no means the Superhero film I've seen this summer... man Zack Snyder is a tool.. that guy can ruin anything, including Superman.

JEFF

Yup expectations are everything, and this is sadly not the worst let down we've had this season, though it still sticks in my craw.

JOSH

Well that sounds painful you should pull it out of your craw. What is your craw? Where is it? Do I have a craw? Don't let it linger… it might get infected.

What We Learned This Week at the Movies: August 5-11, 2013

The dog days of summer are upon us, and although this summer has been one of contrasts - with just as many box office bombs as successes – it’s been fun at the movies overall. Only time will tell if the summer of 2013 will have any staying power in the history of cinema (JOSH and JEFF vote NO) however, this week I’m putting away my Hater-ade and talking about 5 films that I’ve absolutely loved. If you’re looking for a good film to see as we draw toward the end of summer (and studios try to claw their way out of debt) I would suggest any one of these five. The films are ranked from 5-1 in the order which I would recommend seeing them.

Movies Seen In Theatres This Week: The Wolverine, The Conjuring, The Way Way Back, Fruitvale Station, Let Me Explain: Kevin Hart

Lesson 5. Somehow Kevin Hart is Crazy Famous

Kevin Hart is the most financially successful standup comedian of the year, and part of that is the 32 million that his stand-up special made in theatres. And every dime of that is well deserved. Hart released this film on the heels of a worldwide tour and it’s one of the best standup sets of the year. Hart sells out Madison Square Garden and gives a routine that is honest, thought provoking, and above all else hilarious. I highly enjoyed watching this comedy special, but honestly had no idea that Kevin Hart was as big a deal as he is. Can I tell you a Kevin Hart film off the top of my head? (Jeff: Fool’s Gold?) Nope. Could I quote a Hart joke? Nope. Would I recognize Hart on the street as a celebrity? Maybe? But I’m in the minority: Hart has gained a massive following by embracing YouTube, touring nonstop for at least three years, and making a career as a character actor. Hart is a great example of modern celebrity, someone who is loved and well-known with a small segment of society, but has enough of a following to live on the edge of extreme celebrity. It just takes one project to break through, and with his new special Let Me Explain Hart has broken through. Now it’s time to see if Hart has staying power, and that test will come this January when he stars opposite Ice Cube in Ride Along.

Lesson 4. Conjuring Up a Winning Formula

As much as it shocks me to write to this… I LOVED The Conjuring. Is The Conjuring the first film to put a family in a creepy house haunted by demons? Obviously not, but it does it soooo very well. It uses horror film tropes to their best extent, and it’s never cliché. The Conjuring draws you in and takes you on an amazing visual and emotional ride. Its characters are logical in their reactions to this situation, they have clear motivation, and all of the actors shine in their parts. The thing that I loved most about The Conjuring is the fact that director James Wan and writers Carey and Chad Hayes base all of the supernatural events in logic and reality. They ask the audience to think about what they would do in this situation, and never once did I find myself shouting at the characters, telling them the “right” thing to do, they just did it. That is what gives the film it’s highly suspenseful tone. The two stand-outs of film are Patrick Wilson, who perfectly plays the supernatural hunter Ed Warren, and director Wan. Wan is a very good director who just happens to make horror films. As the director of this, Saw, and Insidious, Wan has carved himself a great place in Hollywood today and horror film history. To me The Conjuring is as good as any horror film, I’d place it on the same level as The Exorcist and Poltergeist, and the fact that it was made on a 20 million dollar budget and then grossed 108 million dollars (as of Aug 4, 2013) means that we will see plenty of Conjuring sequels - and if they follow Ed and Lorraine Warren (a real life couple who went around the northeast assisting people in supernatural occurrences) I’d be game because there are still more stories for these characters to tell.

Lesson 3. …And Now for Something Kind of Different

The Way Way Back is one of the most fun films of the summer. This coming-of-age tale, starring Liam James of TV’s Psych, follows in the line of Little Miss Sunshine and Juno as a quirky indy film that penetrates the main stream and bring joy to audiences everywhere. Let me start with this, The Way Way Back is NOT AS GOOD as the other two mentioned above, but man it’s a good time at the movies. Jim Rash (Community) and Nat Faxon (Ben and Kate) write this film, just like The Descendants for which they won an Oscar, but this time they also find themselves acting and co-directing. The Way Way Back is their film in every sense of the word, and it has such a unique sense of humor that it’s a breath of fresh air. The Way Way Back is the story of young boy trying to survive the summer of his parents’ divorce while being stuck in a northeastern beach town with his broken family and find his place in the world. His mom is the amazing Toni Collette and her new d-bag boyfriend is a fantastic Steve Carrell, both of whom play against type very successfully, as well as the boyfriend’s entitled teenage daughter, played by Zoe Levin. This film features an all-star cast, also including Allison Janny, Annasophia Robb, Rob Cordrey, Amanda Peet, Maya Rudolph, and Sam Rockwell who steals this film. This is a classic case of Rockwell being Rockwell and embodying a character so much that you lose sight of who the actor is. His portrayal of Owen, the owner/manager of Water Wizz Water Park, is simply breathtaking, and is my first lock for an Oscar nomination. Take the time to see The Way Way Back, it’s a fun comedy that isn’t afraid to toss in a little bit of drama, heart, and honesty.

Lesson 2. Snicker-Snack Goes The Wolverine

Going into The Wolverine, let’s just say that I was cautiously optimistic. I’m happy to say that I LOVED it. This film not only saves the character franchise, but sets up the next film very well. There are some actors who become so ingrained as a character that no one else could possibly play the role – that is Hugh Jackman with Wolverine, AKA Logan. This isn’t a perfect film, it has many holes including some under-developed villains, too many unestablished characters, and the third act becomes far too dependent on CGI (which is sad for a film that uses very little CGI up to that point). But this film is exactly what the superhero genre needs. The Wolverine is a character study, a slow film and a film that is very small in scope. It’s a wonderful look at Logan and what makes him who he is, and it looks at the down side of super powers: specifically those that come with being a self-healing, immortal mutant. One of the things I love about the film is that Logan is flawed. He’s not glorified, he just happens to have superpowers, but somehow he overcomes all of the obstacles in his life and that is what makes him heroic. The great thing about The Wolverine is that it takes its time. All this film really wants to do is explore its central character. Yes, there is a problem (Wolverine has lost his mutant powers and must cope with that until he can get them back) but I love that this is a superhero/kung fu/noir film. With harsh shadows, corrupt morals and motivations, striking dark visuals, and femme fatals that really boil the blood. Set in Japan, it’s subtle and kickass at the same time and it has amazing action sequences that bleed into great and moving characters scenes, both with visuals that take your breath away. The Wolverine was helmed by Darren Aaronfsky up until a year ago when James Mangold took over, but you can instantly tell what Aaronfsky added to the film. Instead of changing gears, Mangold went with what he was given and ends up making a beautiful film that is my favorite superhero of the summer. In terms the X-Men franchise as a whole I say this falls very closely behind X2 and X-Men but well ahead of 2011’s X-Men: First Class and way, way ahead of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and  X-Men: The Last Stand.

Lesson 1. Timing is Everything

I was ready to declare The Way Way Back and Much Ado About Nothing the two best films of 2013 so far – but then I sat down to watch Fruitvale Station. Wow. Goodness… Wow.

Fruitvale Station is this year’s Sundance darling, winning the grand prize and the audience award at this year’s festival. Totally deserved. Fruitvale is the true story of bay area resident Oscar Grant and the events that happen to him, his family, and his friends on New Year’s Eve 2008. It is fantastically directed, brilliantly filmed, and Michael B. Jordan, Melonie Diaz, and Octavia Spencer give amazing performances. Spencer is almost a lock for best supporting actress this year, but only time will tell on the rest. Why? This film is great, and will easily be one of the best films of the year BUT it came out in the middle of summer. Will it still get the attention it deserves during awards season? I really, really hope that it will. I hope Fruitvale Station is still on people’s minds because it hits so many emotional chords, and I dare you to come out with dry eyes. Fruitvale Station is one of the GREATS of 2013 and I hope it gets treated as such.

What We Learned This Week at the Movies: July 14– July 26, 2013

Movies Seen In Theatres This Week:  Hitchcock’s Blackmail, Much Ado About Nothing, The Heat, Despicable Me 2, The Lone Ranger

Lesson 5. Silent but Deadly - The Pure Joy of SIFF's Hitchcock 9

One of the genuine perks of living in Seattle is being able to participate in all the fantastic programs that SIFF (Seattle International Film Festival) has to offer. We’ve written before about how much we’ve enjoyed taking part in SIFF’s Crash Cinema and are looking forward to doing it again next month, but last week Jeff was able to check out the first installment of their Hitchcock 9 series. Some of Hitchcock’s best early silent films are on display, fully remastered and on the big screen at their uptown location. Plus, they have live scores performed by area bands!

Blackmail was first up, which is regarded as Hitchcock’s best silent film as well as one of the best films of the 1920’s. The original score, composed and performed by the group Diminished Men, was the perfect accompaniment. It was dark, subtle, jazzy, and with a nearly chaotic instrumental quality. It reminded me of the score of a Tarantino film, but with an extra layer of smoke on top. In short, it brought out all the tension of Hitchcock’s film, without distracting from the master-filmaker’s imagery. Beyond that, it added a level of grit that wasn’t in Hitchcock’s polished composition that really enhanced it for a modern audience. For an audience that’s unused to silent film, this is the perfect introduction and I enjoyed every minute of it. We’ll continue to fan-boy SIFF and write about their programs as they come. To all interested and aspiring filmmakers in the Seattle area, join us for Crash Cinema (where we’ll make a movie in 8 hours, then take part in SIFF’s mini-festival on the big screen) August 24.

Lesson 4. Enjoy The Summer - Avoid The Heat

The next sentence that I’m about to write is hard for me, but here goes. The Heat is terrible. I really wanted to like it, I love Mellissa McCarthy and even in this boring rehash of unfunny ideas she still found a way to make me a laugh a few times. That’s the last good thing I can say about The Heat. The plot was weak and beyond far-fetched, every character is a stereotype, the humor just falls very flat. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on The Heat simply because it’s not worth bashing. It’s so dull I’m not really sure how this film opened so well (opening weekend of over 60 million dollars). I’m glad it did because I want McCarthy to keep getting projects, but don’t waste your time with this film. Even Identity Thief, which released earlier this year, was better than this. I’m disappointed in director Paul Fieg (who was the director of Bridesmaids, several episodes of The Office, as well as the creator of the perfect show, Freaks and Geeks) because there is nothing that can save this film. Just a heads up, it’s a hard R. There are some strongly gory scenes and swear words all over the place (so much in fact that it’s a running joke when Sandra Bullock does begin to swear -  it’s supposed to be hilarious…stupid, stupid stupid.) Alright, I’m done. Just avoid The Heat  

Lesson 3. Reverse Trailer-Cide

Recently I watched Despicable Me 2 and I am proud to say that this film archives far greater levels of… disappointment. I think I’m the only person that didn’t enjoy the first Despicable Me and now I’m one of the few that doesn’t care for the sequel. The Despicable films are fine enough, and serve as good kid’s entertainment, or at least they should. The problem with this film is that it forgets that it should be serving families and turns into a “romantic comedy” and a pretty lame one at that. Despicable Me 2 focuses far too much on the love story of Gru (Steve Carrell) and Lucy (Kristen Wiig) and not nearly enough on what the film was billed as, an animated action comedy with Gru saving the world he once tried to destroy. This is the problem with both Despicable films, they have trailers and advertisements that are far more interesting than its final product. The first film was built as a subversive, bad guy is the good guy, anti-hero kids film then it was just a typical cute cartoon. Not bad, but not what it promised. The sequel was billed as a cute action family cartoon and we get a RomCom made with computers. It’s just sadly disappointing. I’m really looking forward to the trailer for Despicable 3, but I’ll skip that film no matter how good it looks.

Lesson 2. Never Trust a Film with Pointless Cannibalism

Do I need to write more? The Lone Ranger has pointless cannibalism. I just kept saying to myself, what the hell were they thinking? How could they do this? It can’t get worse… It. Just. Did. There are so many issues with The Lone Ranger from Armie Hammer’s lame-sauce portrayal of the title character, to multiple failed story framing devices, to needless freeze frames, to useless… There’s a lot wrong with the film, but I want to rant about this: at one point in the making and writing of this film the bad guy, Butch Cavendish (played by William Fichtner who is the only watchable thing in the entire film), was supposed to be a werewolf. Now in theory I have no issue with this except… THEY CUT IT FROM THE FILM AND DIDN’T RESHOOT A THING!!! All they did was cut around every direct reference to it, so we still have small hints that something is wrong with Cavendish BUT IT’S NEVER FINISHED! We have were-bunnies in this film, the pointless, repetitive, use of the term Windigo (a Native American term for a werewolf-type creature) and POINTLESS CANNIBALISM! At one point Cavedish cuts a man’s heart out and eats it – and it’s never explained or mentioned! This is the nut shell problem with the film, it encapsulates everything that’s wrong with The Lone Ranger. The real lesson is that The William Tell Overture is far far entertaining and compelling than this film could ever… EVER hope to be.

Lesson 1. Blind Love is The Best Love

My blind love, Joss Whedon, is very strong - which makes me very happy to say that Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing is great. This black and white film was made in 12 days in the middle of The Avengers shoot. Whedon needed some down time, and this is what he did with it. The cast is full of actors from the Whedon Universe (Alexis Denisof, Amy Acker, Fran Kranz, Nathan Fillion, Clark Gregg, Reed Diamond, and Sean Maher… just to name a few) and they all shine. It’s clear they enjoy working with Whedon and trust him completely. The adaptation of Shakespeare’s play works very well, and Whedon decided to make it a much smaller story, really focusing on the relationships between Benedict and Beatrice and Claudio and Hero. This choice really works when transferring the play to film. After watching the film it amazes me that it was shot in 12 days because this is one of the most unique and beautifully filmed movies of the year so far. Whedon uses his home in Santa Monica as the backdrop for this classic comedy and it really helps us to connect to a film that could easily go off the rails quickly.  It’s because of the familiarity of an American home, with actors we (fans) know, and the outstanding camera work leads the audience to accept the most difficult thing about adapting Shakespeare for a modern audience: the language. Much Ado uses dialogue straight from the play and doesn’t miss a beat, very quickly you buy that this is how these characters speak and the reason for that is the completely familiarity to what’s on screen, who is creating it and the actors who are KILLING IT on screen because they understand what they’re saying and perform the play to its fullest extent. Much Ado is full of amazing performances all around, but three in particular stand out. Fran Kranz playing Claudio gives a performance full of depth and layers that make the characters journey toward love so beautiful and crushing. Nathan Fillion as Dogberry brings a level of humor to the film that puts it over the top as a great comedy and he does this by grounding his character in reality. Finally, Amy Acker’s Beatrice is one of the best performances of the year, period. She is the center, the heart, and the soul of this film. She understands where the character is at all times and her “If I were man” speech is one of the captivating speeches on film, and my personal favorite version of the soliloquy that I’ve ever seen. Much Ado About Nothing is crazy amounts of fun and definitely worth seeing in the theater. Do it, you won’t be sad.    

Talkin' In the Movies: Pacific Rim SPOILERS!

We saw Pacific Rim. Robots, Monsters, half the cast of FX, and a whole lot of Del Torro weirdness, which means that of course we had to talk about it. Jeff was late, as usual…

JOSH

… why are you late?

JEFF

I'm never late. Or early. A blogger arrives precisely when he means to.

JOSH

Shut up Gandalf! Tonight's blog will be written by a very cranky man! You all can deal with it!

JEFF

Welcome to Talkin' in the Movies! Or "Josh's official hater time, with Jeff, our hero.”

JOSH

Don't hate the player, hate the game! I only hate on things that deserve hate! And as I said... deal with it!

JEFF

...Even on my birthday?

JOSH

It was your birthday, now it's not! I was a bright ray of sunshine when we saw the film... right... bright...?

JEFF

Meaning falling asleep and ducking out of the theater when the action was too intense? You did share some candy, and bought tickets, so thank you.

JOSH

Well happy birthday film, my friend. And it's not my fault that Pacific Rim was incredibly boring at one some points and gave me motion sickness at others. If the film was attempting to create literal and figurative nausea in its audience; it very much succeeded.

JEFF

Oh boo, you're just a softy. So... Pacific Rim. Godzilla meets Transformers meets Iron Man. What's not to love?

JOSH

The Godzilla and Transformers parts. That's what not to love.

Let's start by you telling me what is enjoyable about CGI porn with very little story?

JEFF

I'd like to think I'm pretty sophisticated, but you never liked watching giant things beating each other up? That's my kind of cheese.

Sure it would have been better if the fictional society spent a little time researching the source of these giant horrors, or god forbid made friends with them, but it is fun to spend what remains of the world's resources on a handful of giant compensation-bots.

Before we go much further, a basic plot breakdown: A dimensional rift opens at the bottom of the Pacific, and through it comes a continual stream of giant but stupid monsters (Kaijus) that march into our coastal cities causing mayhem.

Our reaction? 20 years developing ever-bigger robots with human pilots (Jaegers) to smack-down UFC style. The monsters get bigger, the robots get bigger… And here we are, when humanity is almost out of bots and finally turns its attention to the source of the problem, the rift these things are spilling out of.

JOSH

Yeah, that’s an issue I have.

Why did they wait so long to try to close the whole? Once they figured out that these things were deadly and they were not going to share the planet, why didn’t we just close up the hole? It's not like the plan is complicated. Grab a Alien-Dino from the center of the earth and send him back where is his over-complicated-Pan's Labyrinth-rip-off ass came from and blow it up with a bomb... really no one thought of that till the 11th hour.

I will totally give you that this is not my kind of cheese. So it's got a long way to go before I’ll enjoy it, though Pacific Rim gets farly close to me starting to kinda enjoy it.

Truth be told, I enjoyed the very very small back-story at the beginning that the humans of this world have been trying for 20 years to destroy the Kaijus and they have failed, so now this is the final option. And it actually gave a reason for why we need to see Robot/Alien UFC. SIDEBAR: the Kaijus in this film are actually Dinosaurs? A little piece of information that is glossed over in the opening segments. REALLY, THEY ARE DINOSAURS.

JEFF

They're not really dinosaurs! They're what wiped OUT the dinosaurs. 

JOSH

What? The film states that they came out lived for a while but the planet wasn’t ready, so they went back in their Hobbit hole.

JEFF

They came out - MASS EXTINCTION - then sniffed the air and thought "Not polluted enough, I'll come back later."

JOSH

Was that said? Honestly, did I miss it or are you just reading into it? Because what I stated before was what I remember from the film. I will admit if I’m wrong, but I don't remember any further info.

JEFF

I think it was a misunderstanding of a logically murky, vaguely-alluded-to bit of exposition. And honestly, the least of this film's problems.

I liked this movie, I had fun, but I'm not putting it on a pedestal.

JOSH

All of the film’s exposition was logically murky and vaguely-alluded-to. That's the issue, stop trying to distract me with big dumb robots fighting animal like alien-dinos from the middle of the earth. Give me something to latch on to, something to root for, something to care about.

This film treats its characters like caricatures. There is no depth, nothing interesting about anyone on the screen. The film is a predictable as all get out, everything was telegraphed and over foreshadowed! Even to its predicable solution at the end. What's to enjoy about predicable, over-hashed nonsense?

JEFF

It's true that this movie didn't play anything close to the chest, but in a weird way that's part of its wide-open, bright-eyed charm. It has archetypical characters with clear goals and sincere emotions. It's a cartoon. It's in the tradition of Japanese Manga or anime, which have a proud tradition of giant robot stories. Or for us less discerning Americans, Power Rangers. A movie which you've made me watch... twice.

It was emotionally simple and the action was just as straight-forward. Del Torro got to live the dream. He got some great toys and 200 million dollars, and he came to play! That's what this movie is: going back to the sandbox with a kid who has a more vivid imagination than anyone else in the world. Perfect summer movie, and there is some pure joy in the sequences where we can forget anything else and just get lost in the colors and action. It's what Michael Bay wishes he could do, create justified violence in a way that's engaging and actually makes sense to watch. Strap in and have fun.

My big question: If it's been more than a decade since these monsters started attacking coastal cities, why do people still live in coastal cities? I might move to Iowa, all things considered. Like James T. Kirks great-grandfather did when a Kaiju hit Newark.

JOSH

Power Rangers is perfect... deal with it. This movie is no Power Rangers. But your point is well taken, looking at this as a cartoon is a great way to go and fixes several of its flaws. Considering it's got as much animation as any Pixar film, it fits the bill.

Dealing with your "big question" first? It's just one of the many plot hole questions that I have no answer to because the man in the sandbox gave me no answer. He set up a world and then half-delivered on the logic. A major failing of this kid in his sandbox, and much like a kid in his sandbox he seems to just make it up as he goes along. “Wouldn't it be cool if these two things got in the biggest fight of all time in San Fran! Then a bigger thing comes along and eats all the ice cream! Then all the people hide while the biggest thing of all illogically gets by my Mom!” It's little kid logic, and it's my fault for expecting more out this film.

What I really want to dive into is your statement that this was a "Perfect Summer Movie." It is not. Let's take what I consider to be a perfect summer movie, Jurassic Park. That film has flaws, BUT it gives you a sense of awe and wonder, and the story and characters have enough going for them that we can follow them without questioning every step of the way. It’s a good 30 to 35 mins into the film before we ever see a Dino, and about an hour before one is attacking our characters. We are given time to accept what is happening and who we are rooting for.

Where is the scene of awe and wonder in Pacific Rim? What is new? Find a way with your millions of sandbox dollars to show me something Michael Bay has not already poorly delivered. Del Torro is a WAY better filmmaker then Bay, so come on!

My 1st and 2nd graders still know what Jurassic Park is by the theme song (which I played today and they knew long before I told them) and Rim doesn't deliver anything new, let alone anything better than what we've already seen.

It didn't touch me, and a good summer film should. If it's good enough to make me accept its flaws, then it's doing its job. If it's not good enough to make me overlook a few while watching the first time, then it's not. Americans are a forgiving audience, even the most jaded of us, but you need to give us something to forgive, something to root for, something to defend.

JEFF

Ok, ok. This is a big, blow-up movie, and it's as shallow as possible. Either you have fun with that or you don't. Jurassic Park is perfect, which is why 20 years later it still works. This movie won't be remembered, and the inevitable sequels will squeeze the novelty out of it for me, but for now, for today, for my birthday, I had fun.

It didn't promise a grand story and it didn't deliver one. What we got was some large-scale action and the invitation to join in. Plus, the best use of Charlie Day in a movie to date. He had more heart than anyone else in this film and whaddya know, he saves the day in a more real way than any of our jock-wannabe role models. Way to go Charlie, way to go Del Torro, and way to go me.

If you want to point at something truly ridiculous, point to Ron Perlman. But hey! It's a Del Torro movie, and that's his guy. It makes me want to watch Sons of Anarchy, another over-the-top show, but one where Charlie Hunnam and Perlman have some real stakes.

JOSH

Agree, Best ues of Charlie Day! Worst use of Burn Gorman (look away Torchwood fans... look away! Be warned).

Day is the best part and made some of it watchable, it's not a complete waste of time. I'd watch this before any Transformers film. All in all it's not the worst thing I've seen this summer, or this year. But that's doesn't make it any better. It just makes other things that much worse.

JEFF

So, solid C from me, with an A for ‘Awesome Attempt’ and to the studio for giving one of my favorite artists a massive payday.

JOSH

D for me, and if it gets sequels I'd be surprised, since it's going to STRUGGLE just to get it's money back. I mean, it lost it's opening weekend to Grown Ups 2... a film that I'm sure is much worse. Well, now as I did for a very small part of Pacific Rim I'm off to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………….

JEFF

Oh well. (steals sleeping Josh's candy)

Josh's First 50 of 2013

We’re about halfway through the year and I’ve hit a milestone of 50 films seen in theaters so far. It’s crazy to think where the year of 2013 has led me, though ups and downs, moving, new starts, and through it all I’ve seen 50 different movies on the big screen. If it wasn’t clear, I love movies. I love going to the movies. It’s honestly the most fun, relaxing, and calming experience I can think of. Going to the theater is a kind of joy for me that I can’t explain, to just get lost in a story, either or good bad, and experience the journey of the characters onscreen is amazing. It’s why I’m a storyteller, to share in some way the experience I have every time I go to the movies or a live production. One of the joys of MoivePass is that I can go to the movies whenever I have a chance to at an affordable price. I know I’ve talked about it before but MoviePass really is the best gift you can give to a film junkie. If you are interested, let me know. I’ll send you the invite (and if enough you sign up I get a free month… just saying). But moving on…

So I’ve been planning this article for a while because I figured about halfway through the year I’d hit 50 films. What I’m going to do is rank, from 50 to 1, the films I’ve seen over the first half of 2013. Most of these we’ve covered in some way, so I’m not going crazy in depth, just a few reminders of what was good, bad, and ugly, and why they’re grouped the way they are. So cheers to the first half of 2013! It’ll be an interesting experiment to see how many of these make the worst list at the end of the year, and how many stay in the top 10. Let’s take a look at the first fifty of 2013.

Jeff’s Note: I know y’all haven’t heard much from me lately, partially because I’ve been torn away by other projects, but mainly because I can’t begin to compete with Josh’s movie-watching stats. His 50 is an achievement that I envy, and through this article I’ll put a asterisk next to the films I’ve seen as well, and any of my thoughts in italics. It will be fun to see how we stack up! (hint: he wins! By a LOT) Here we go…

The Worst of the Worst

50.  Movie 43 – This is easily the worst film of the year, and it will take a real disaster to knock it off its pedestal. By the time the Razzies come around this terrible sketch “comedy” piece will probably have been forgotten (and for good reason as almost every one of the 39 known actors in the film have disowned it). But Movie 43 is so bad… it’s bad. Avoid at all costs.

49. Tyler Perry’s Temptation – don’t be tempted… you’ll be sorry.

48. The Heat – This is one of the most overrated films of the year so far. It’s made over 60 million and the sequel has already been green-lit. Films like The Heat is why the current state of comedy is in such a sad way. Congrats America! Here comes the long-awaited Sandra Bullock and Mellissa McCarthy Heat trilogy. 

47. The Host

46. Phantom – Submarine films, can’t live with them… can’t stay awake in them.

45. Dead Man Down

44. G. I. Joe Retaliation – So I hear this is better than first one, that’s faint praise everyone. One day I’ll have my retaliation for sitting through this piece of junk.

More Bad Than Good

43. A Good Day to Die Hard – You know what you’re getting with this one, you’re either going to love it, or wish they would have stopped with the first Die Hard, when John McClane wasn’t “on a vacation.”

42. Escape from Planet Earth – The cartoon is the definition of pandering the children crap, don’t waste your time.

41. Peeples – I really like Craig Robinson, and David Allen Grier for that matter, but this was a sad, sad film for them to lead. A Meet The Parents rip off that falls more than a little short.

40. Oblivion* (Jeff saw this! See our Talkin’ in the Movies)

39. After Earth – Yes, there is a reason that this film falls right here. It is NOT good (a few enjoyable moments) but it is slightly better than Oblivion… give me Will Smith over Tom Cruise any day.

38. Man of Steel – I’m actually kind of surprised Man of Steel made it this far up the list. But hey, miracles happen every day. I’m still searching for the reason people enjoy Zack Snyder…. And I still, haven’t found what I’m looking for.

37. The Last Stand – Luis Guzman is the only reason this is not much further down the list, a few good moments make The Last Stand a semi-fun but overtly ridiculous watch.

Truly Mediocre

36. The Great Gatsby* – Baz Luhrmann made the film he wanted. He just didn’t make the film anyone else wanted.

35. Beautiful Creatures – Beautiful Creatures is more fun than it looks, but it’s all not in the way the filmmakers wanted. This Twilight rip off has enough going on to be unique and some good ideas that fell flat due to a desire to be like previous tween franchises. At the very least Beautiful Creatures is so bad, it’s good.

34. 21 & Over – If I was in high school I would have loved this film, but I’m not. If you are in high school (or early college) then you will probably find quite a bit of enjoyment in 21 & Over. Be warned, this is an extreme dude film.

33. The Amazing Burt Wonderstone

32. Identity Thief – A poorly-written, well-cast film that ends up having some true moments of joy mixed in with many bash-your-head-against-a-wall moments. It’s a great plane film (something that you’d enjoy, if you had nothing else to watch).

31. Jack The Giant Slayer

30. Epic

29. Quartet

28. Side Effects – Decent ideas, wrapped up in a slow moving package that ends up being about bad people turning good people into bad, and a bunch of other sad convoluted nonsense.

27. The Company You Keep

26. The Great and Powerful Oz – Disney’s attempt to bring us back to Oz is their first misstep of year (sadly not their last live action fiasco of 2013). The Great and Powerful Oz is a decent ride through Oz that falls apart in the third act.

The Upper Half

25. The Internship – Well, if this starts the upper half of films, I’m a little worried about 2013, but The Internship is not a complete waste of time. There are some decent moments, and again: this would make a fine plane film.

24. Gangster Squad – Gangster Squad took a beating at the start of the year. I’m not saying this is great, but it is fun. All the actors (Josh Brolin, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, and Sean Penn) are enjoying their parts and the visuals are at least fun. It’s not perfect, but hey, I’d watch it again. That’s more than I can say of any of the other films on this list so far.

23. The Croods – A thoroughly unoriginal animated film that doesn’t push any ground and can’t hold a candle to ahat Pixar, Dreamworks, or Disney has to offer, but in the end it’s an enjoyable enough film with a good message and pretty animation.

22. Now You See Me

21. Snitch – The Rock, doing his thing. Not the best film with The Rock this year, but the best one he’s starred in.

More Good than Bad

20. Admission

19. Spring Breakers – This is the first of two thought-provoking films that are worth your time, but ultimately miss the top spots. Take a look at the Nerd 5 article about why Spring Breakers is the first must-see film of 2013. Yes, Franco is one of those reasons.

18. The Purge – An almost awesome film that has some very good ideas. Check it out, more than worth your time.

17. Olympus Had Fallen – A 90’s actions film that came 13 years after the 90s. I’m still on board.

16. Warm Bodies

Good But Just Shy of Great

15. Evil Dead – Despite every reason I wanted to hate this film, I ended up with a smile on face through the entire thing. Yes, I worry about my soul for smiling through this film. No, it’s not a remake or reboot but a continuation. And yes, this is the rare example of good slasher film.

14. The Place Beyond the Pines – An epic tale of fathers and sons, while tackling the question of how much a parent can truly affect what their kid becomes. The Place Beyond the Pines starts out very strong and fades a little as it goes, but overall this is a very complex and enjoyable film.

13. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters – This film is dumb beyond all get out. It’s filled with logic holes, plot holes, and any other kind of hole you can think. But man, it’s a good time. Turn your brain off and enjoy the ride of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, which has its tongue firmly placed in its cheek.

12. The Sapphires

11. Iron Man 3* – I railed pretty hard against Iron Man 3, and when all is said and done it will probably slip down the list much further, but outside of a few scenes that absolutely destroyed it Iron Man 3 is a fun ride. It was just hard for me, personally, to watch.

The Best of The Best

10. Drinking Buddies* – This little film has grown on me since the day I saw it. More and more it becomes something I relate to, love, and can’t wait to see again when it releases nationwide later this summer. Thanks to SIFF for the great sneak peak and the Q & A with director.

9. 42: The Story of An American Legend – The Jackie Robinson story, done right. Great performances all around, especially Harrison Ford as Branch Rickey and Chadwick Boseman as Jackie, the story of Robinson is well told and this is a fantastic baseball film that will be remembered for years.

8. World War Z* – This big budget zombie film hits all right notes as it tells the story of a worldwide outbreak. Brad Pitt proves that he can still carry a film, and World War Z is entirely on his shoulders. World War Z overcame its troubled production and comes out on the other side as a great summer blockbuster.

Look out for our upcoming Talkin’ in the Movies! Jeff did fall asleep in this one…)

7. Fast and Furious 6 – The franchise that just keeps on giving. Fast and Furious 6 establishes Vin Diesel, The Rock and Paul Walker as superheroes… You think I’m wrong? Give this completely bonkers film a watch and enjoy every moment.

6. Star Trek Into Darkness* – So far, my favorite summer action blockbuster of 2013. Enough said.

5. Mud – All a part of the resurgence of Matthew McConaughey’s career, Mud is a fascinating modern Tom Sawyer tale that is captivating, creepy, and heartfelt – all at the same time.

4. The Iceman – A dark tale of professional mafia hit man Richard Kuklinski is a great film, showing that any man can be an… everyman? Michael Shannon is amazing in The Iceman and this film delivers on every level.

3. This Is The End* – A bold, unique, and stunning comedy that works! This is the End comes at the height of Meta popularity and is nothing but a good time. Take the time to see This is the End because we need more comedies like this one, comedies that try to push the envelope and deliver more than the usual nonsense.

2. Monsters University – Pixar is back my friends! I’m happy to say that Monsters University is a great film that just adds to long list of great Pixar films. It’s a great story that revisits some beloved characters in a fresh way and tells an actual story rather than just going for a money grab. Good job Pixar.

1. Much Ado About Nothing – Just like 2012, halfway through the year my favorite film is by Joss Whedon. Whedon has made a fantastically small film based on the play Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare. Some great moments, visuals, and performances allow this film to shine – and it currently reigns as my favorite film of the year.