This Isn’t Your Slightly Older Brother's Spider-Man

I totally stole the headline, it was too good not to.

I enjoyed this movie, so I’ll get my criticism out of the way first.

The Amazing Spider-Man is an origin story, like the original Spider-Man in 2002. However, in order to distance itself from the original film and avoid hitting the same plot points, this film went so far out of its way that the first half is a bit of a mess. I LOVE the characters in this movie, something that the first series was lacking, but the plot is seriously weak. Maybe it’s forgivable to repeat a few of the things that worked from the original film and not throw the baby out with the bathwater. The moral of this character, “with great power comes great responsibility,” took the greatest hit, robbing this movie of a strong theme that might have made a cool movie a great one.

I felt like something else was missing too. It seemed like there was a story that the makers of this film wanted to tell about Peter Parker's parents, but were either unable to or they ditched it halfway through. This is a really interesting and untold aspect of Peter Parker, and frankly what the trailer led me to expect. The tease without resolution was a big let-down, and contributed to the confusion that this film calls exposition.

Director Marc Webb (a very talented guy, but I hope he was hired based on his name) and the writers of The Amazing Spider-Man also missed out on answering a question that has always confused me: Is Peter the first and ONLY person to walk into this completely unguarded room full of super-spiders? Perhaps there should just be a sign on the door saying “Free Super Powers.” I had heard that the reason Peter Parker is a special case was part of the lost back-story with his parents, so the reason there aren’t dozens of spider-powered janitors running around Manhattan may well be on the cutting room floor.

Alright, now the good stuff. What this movie gets right, it REALLY gets right.

While Peter Parker was a little murky, this was the best Spider-Man we’ve ever seen on film. It celebrated all of the physical traits that make this character unique, and for the first time there wasn’t a horribly obvious shift between the actor and the CGI character. Every web-slinging sequence had speed, weight, and grace (and showed that the web has to actually attach to something, making swinging in straight lines nearly impossible). Spider-Man looked, moved, fought, and talked differently from all the other cookie-cutter heroes that we’re forced to put up with, and that is a massive achievement for this genre.

A massive achievement for 3D as well. This film was obviously planned for that format, and the extreme vertigo of Spider-Man’s world is the perfect environment for it. I saw it in 2D (we write this blog for free you know) but I could tell how amazing it would have been had I shelled out the extra three dollars.

Thank God (in this universe, Stan Lee is lord and creator) that there is some actual sexual chemistry between Peter and Gwen! This is a first for the Spider-Man series, and is more important than any of the technological advances (which are many) that we see in this film. I really, REALLY wanted them to get together. Moreover, I wanted to get together with Emma Stone. And have spider powers.

I would suggest going out to see this movie, but it’s already leaving theatres. My bad. I’ll try to get on these reviews before everyone else has already moved on. In any case, this flawed but exciting movie bodes well for the future and is a perfect palate cleanser after 2007's shockingly awful Spider-Man 3.

PS: Unfortunately I missed the tag after the credits. I walked out of the theatre sure that there wouldn’t be an Avengers style teaser, but I suppose that has just become part of the super hero genre. I hear it had to do with Norman Osborn? Please comment and fill me in.

A Nerd 5 Editorial: Moments In Time

There are moments in everyone’s life that they remember forever. Moments that affect us and shape us. Of course there are big moments that the world shares together, whether they are good or bad. Then there are smaller moments that are personal, but we still always remember them, where we were and what we were doing. When I went to sleep last evening I thought The Dark Knight Rises would be one of those small moments for me as film nerd; when I woke up this morning the film had another stamp put on it, a much larger one at that. Tragedy.

In the early morning of July 20^th a man entered a showing of The Dark Knight Rises wearing a gas-mask (dressed as the character Bane in some reports), tossed a gas can into the crowd and opened fire. 12 people were killed and up to 59 people were injured. This act of violence has shaken the people Aurora, Colorado, the USA, and this film nerd.

There is a special breed of people who go to midnight showings. We stay up to be the first to see a film but we are not crazy (as some may say). We are dedicated, we are dreamers, we are fans for whatever reason and these characters give us hopes, dreams, inspiration, and joy. We are an amazing group of people. I’ve lost count as to how many midnight showings I’ve gone to over the years, but the ones that have made an impact on my life I always remember. But one midnight showing sticks out to me more than any other, and it was only last year.

Is it July 15^th? A questioned I asked daily in 2011 until the day finally arrived. The midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was preceded by a week of watching all the films, rereading the 7^th book, teaching an acting camp based on Potter, competing for the house cup, and of course dressing up in costume (Hagrid for the curious). I showed up to the theatre as early as I could with my closest Potter friends as early as work would allow. At 8pm we poured into the theatre to view a special showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and when it ended there was a feeling of anticipation, joy and excitement that could never be duplicated. It was the end of a world-wide phenomenon, for most of us in the theatre the end of childhood. The film started and so many tears streamed down my face. Simply put: I was in heaven.

Now to think of someone coming to that theatre, that place of joy and shattering that world is one of the most heartbreaking things I could think of. As nerd, and a human, we wait for those special moments when the world seems like it’s made for us. They give us something to look forward too. For Batman fans that moment was night, and for a group of them it was a moment of joy turned to fear. As a fan of comics, movies, and basically all things nerdy, these were the people that I consider my peers, people like me and my friends. This tragedy hits home, I guess, because it could have been me and my friends.

I know the movies are not as much of an event as they used to be, we now have Netflix, Blue-Ray, DVD, and the internet, plus ticket prices are through the roof. Going to the movies has become an ordeal and some people are just skipping them altogether. But for some us the movies are still a place of joy, of escape, a place where we don’t have to worry about the “real world.” A place that is filled with sticky floors, talking kids, annoying cell phones, too many commercials and overpriced popcorn but it’s also a place that you can go on a journey to Middle Earth, Gotham City, on the high seas for great adventure, and to infinity and beyond. But after last night is this outpost of happiness lost?

No. There are moments in time that affect us and change the way we live, moments that penetrate society and have become known to generation after generation as mile markers of society. The Dark Knight Rises was destined to be one, but let’s let it become one because it’s an end to cinematic journey with one of America’s most beloved characters. Let this be a moment in time that says we don’t care about the hate, anger and violence some people feel. We are free to do what we want, we are free to love batman, we are free to hate batman, and we are free to swing our fist as much as we want until it hits someone. But when we get hit, we are also free to get up and keep fighting for what we want. I want the theatre to be a safe happy place for all.

So I ask you, to go see a movie this weekend. I don’t care if it’s Dark Knight Rises or if it’s Battleship or if it’s the smallest independent film you can find, support the movies. Not because of making a statement about freedom, or to prove that good will conquer evil, but to enjoy a moment in time. To me a movie theatre is place where everyone is invited inside to see the magic and enjoy the world, a place where one moment lives forever, and a place where your imagination can get the better of you and you are taken to the most beautiful places in the world. Enjoy your moment in time, and please, this weekend go to the movies.

“Many victims of today’s tragedy were fans of science fiction/fantasy. They stood in line to see, to be inspired, and to escape. As a community of dreamers, we mourn this terrible tragedy and this senseless taking of innocent life” – George Takei

Top 5 Reasons To (Or Not) Be Excited for The Dark Knight Rises

Bad Stuff Happens When Bane Meets Batman, Let's Hope Not Bad for Moviegoers...

Let us start by saying that we’re not huge fans of Batman Begins. We were won over to the series by The Dark Knight. Jeff, drug Josh kicking and screaming to see The Dark Knight, and after that Josh saw it two more times in the theatre and it’s currently proudly sitting on his DVD shelf. We cite this as proof that both of us can like a Christopher Nolan Batman film, but won’t necessarily like all of them. We’d even be willing to say that The Dark Knight would be in our Nerd 5 list of best superhero films, but since this article will have some negative elements later, we’ll skip the Batman Begins bashing.

Let’s talk Nolan for a second, because we think he makes great films. The Dark Knight is a great film, as are Memento and Inception. Nolan is an exceptional filmmaker with a good track record. But there are several things getting in the way of us being fully excited for this particular film.

Josh was initially very excited for The Dark Knight Rises, but as the July 20^th release date draws closer and closer he can’t say that he still is. In fact he’s the opposite. Josh feels pretty much how he did before he was drug kicking and screaming to the last film. Specifically, he’s looking forward to this film as much as Batman looks forward to the return of the Joker. Jeff takes a different stance, thinking that Batman is the film this summer needs, even if it’s not the film Josh wants right now. We’ll both make our arguments, and you decide.

Josh says NO!

The Guidelines:

List anything about The Dark Knight Rises, which (I think) will detract from the film. Any reason it will NOT be good.

The List:

5. Christian Bale

Alright, this is a personal thing. But I can’t stand Christian Bale. I think he’s overrated. He’s given good performances, but on the whole I can’t stand watching the dude. Also, not personally excited to hear that stupid deep gravelly voice for another film. To put my dislike for Bale into context, I don’t think he’s the worst actor to play Batman. Playing the contrast of Bruce Wayne to Batman is a difficult thing and (quite frankly) I don’t think anyone has ever done both well. Michael Keaton (Batman, Batman Returns) was a great Bruce Wayne and a sub-par Batman, Val Kilmer (Batman Forever) understood how to be the caped crusader but as a billionaire playboy he wasn’t the best, then there is George Clooney (Batman & Robin) the worst of all because he was good at… well… let’s all just try and forget Batman & Robin exists. That brings us back to Bale, who I will admit is pretty darn good at Bruce Wayne, I just can’t stand listening to him. Let’s hope we don’t get more gem lines about hockey pads.

4. Running Time 2 hours and 46min

Honestly I’m fine with long films. I’m a firm believer that a film should be as long as it needs to be to tell the story. But will someone please fill me in on what Batman story needs to be told over three hours? I guess time will have to tell on whether The Dark Knight Rises is too long or just enough, but for my money I’m betting we could cut out 46min of long scenery shots, people brooding at each other, and stuff exploding, and this film would be just fine.

To counterpoint with a film that many will look to for comparisons, The Avengers is 2 hours and 23 minutes, a length that works for the film because it’s needed to tell the story, however there are arguments that it’s too long as well. We will see how a superhero movie that runs longer any other in history does this weekend.

3. Studio Involvement/Every Trailer beyond the 1^st

Now this is a point that begins even with the name of the film. The Dark Knight Rises was not the name director Christopher Nolan had originally picked for the film. Nolan wanted to name the film Knight Fall, the same name as the comic arc it’s based off of. The studio however forced him to put the words “Dark Knight” into the title as to not confuse the audience. Really, do you think we’re that dumb Warner Brothers?

This is a small point, but it’s representational of what could be a lot of studio meddling in the film. I don’t want to see a longer version of The Dark Knight, and that’s what it looks like we’re getting. A very dark, very drawn out story of a man fighting with his inner demons while the outer ones attack Gotham city is a good story, that you’ve already told. Twice. I’m hoping that Nolan, his team, and Warner Brothers give us something new.

2. Too Many Characters

If we look at the downfall of most super hero films, it’s that there are too many characters, too many things going on, too much for the story to try to wrap up, and simply too much to do. Let’s break this down chart style:

Returning Characters	New Characters
Christian Bale = Batman/Bruce Wayne	Tom Hardy = Bane
Liam Neeson = Ra’s Al Ghul (from Batman Begins)	Joseph Gordon-Levitt = John Blake
Gary Oldman = Commissioner Gordon	Anne Hathaway = Catwoman
Morgan Freeman = Lucius Fox	Marion Cotillard = Miranda Tate
Michael Caine = Alfred

That’s four new characters that we have to give purpose, depth, and arcs too, one character that been gone so long that he needs to be completely re-established, and four returning characters that we need to become acquainted with. That’s a lot to follow and a lot to do. It’s do-able, but difficult. My hat is off to them if they can make that work.

1. It’s the third film in a series…

The history of film is littered with “threequels” and most of are complete and utter failures. For every Spiderman 3 there is a Revenge of the Sith (wait both of those are bad… THAT’S THE POINT!)

 Before you go spouting off about films like Return of the Jedi, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban, Toy Story 3, and Return of the King  (by the way that would be my Nerd 5 list of best threequels in order from 5 to 1) these films are exceptions! More often than not, the third film in a series is awful. Unless we are saying something new, giving a fresh take on the series, or finishing off the story, I have no hope for the third film of a series.

History is against The Dark Knight Rises; but, with all that being said, I am willing to be swayed by an exceptional film, just like last time.

Jeff says YES!

The Guidelines:

List anything about The Dark Knight Rises which gives (Jeff) hope for the film. Any reason it WILL be good.

The List:

5. Joseph Gordon Leavitt.

…is an amazing actor. I don’t think anyone left Inception wishing to have seen less of Leavitt’s character. From child actor, to sitcom star, to Disney voice talent, to indie darling, to summer blockbusters, Leavitt has a career that is to be universally envied.

I think it’s great that we’ll have a chance to follow around a younger generation within this series’ universe. By now Batman has been away for a while, and a fresh set of police will have sprung up in that time. I want to know their Gotham, the post-Joker Gotham. And I’m more than satisfied to get to know some new characters who can create that world, and thrilled that Leavitt is a part of it.

Also, Marion Cotillard? Tom Hardy? Anne Hathaway (well, maybe…)? How is it a bad thing to have these talents on screen? With them as an addition to the already stellar cast, you have a great movie in the works. If the writing and directing is even halfway decent (most of us take for granted it will be (cough…NOLAN!)), then that already assures a good time in the theatre. 

4. The Bat Jet.

Bat Hovercraft, Jetski, Pogo Stick, whatever. I’m ready for it. Tim Burton couldn’t wait one movie to bring out the big guns, Nolan has waited through two. If Batman will be going out with this film, let it be in something bigger and blacker than ever.

3. CON: Studio Involvement is Ominous

Here I completely agree with Josh (so much that I think his argument is pulled directly from a conversation we had… ). Anytime a production company is fiddling around with a film in pre or post, it’s a bad sign. Most ‘threequels’ are ruined by production companies that don’t know how to serve their own franchises, and make bad choices in order to make quick cash.

It’s true. The name of this movie sucks, and is an obvious attempt to ride on the coat-tails of The Dark Knight. It’s an aesthetic compromise, but it takes away any ability The Dark Knight Rises had of surpassing the fame of the movie before it, like The Dark Knight surpassed Batman Begins. It shows a lack of confidence in this third installment, and makes me think that the production company saw the “real” money that The Dark Knight made, and instead of inspiring them to trust its creator, it just made them afraid that he couldn’t do it again.

I’m only reading the signs. Some might say that Nolan has greater artistic freedom with this film because of the success of The Dark Night, and I truly hope that they’re right.

2. Daring to Bring New Life into a Dying World

My cohort takes the introduction of so many new characters into Gotham City as a sign of trouble, and it’s true that there is a lot of ground Nolan will need to cover to make them fully realized characters. However, I take it as a sign of hope. If there are some new characters in the mix, it will free up the characters that we know and love to do something unexpected. If I can happily watch Joseph Gordon Leavitt’s character for a few scenes, it opens up all kinds of story possibilities for what Batman may be doing. The same old people won’t be under the microscope, or have to carry the pressure of the entire movie by themselves. I don’t know what story is being built yet, but I already know it won’t be the same one I’ve seen before, and in a series that’s a good thing.

Also, this is the end of a series. Why would I want to watch a 3 hour long movie with nothing new, nothing fresh, and nothing hopeful? The Gotham we’re familiar with is a bad place. New elements have to emerge to change it. This isn’t a Cormac McCarthy Novel, and if anyone can introduce new characters and provide them with compelling arcs (like, oh… Joker and Harvey Dent in the last film?) it’s Christopher Nolan.

1. Faith.

…is the only thing that separates a critic from a troll. It’s what keeps us paying to go to the theatre, instead of waiting for a film’s release, or for a bargain bin of used DVD’s a few years later. Hell, it’s what keeps me watching movies. Other than to have SOMETHING to break up the silence in our apartments, what are we doing if not at least attempting to lose ourselves in the vision of another, and exist within their world for a few hours?

I have faith in Christopher Nolan. I think he has earned that faith, and despite my reservations as a critic, as a fan I am ready to trust him with at least another three hours of my life. I might not believe in Batman, but I believe in this series. I believe in Nolan. 

Top 5 Podcasts that We Can’t Stop Listening To

This. Is. Going. To. Get. Wordy. I’ll try to keep it to a minimum but we are on a topic that I love. Podcasts are a baby in the world of entertainment; simply put they are the evolution of radio. What is a podcast? A podcast is an episodic show, where people chat on a theme. They can be based around anything, from comedy to news, and from film to music to art, and everything in between. They can be downloaded from that newfangled internet thing via several different locations. iTunes has an entire section devoted to Podcasts, you can basically search any topic you want and there is probably a show about it. Most shows have a home page that you can download the show from as well, however; I’ve found that iTunes is the easiest.

To listen, follow these easy steps: search, download, up load to MP3 player, listen, enjoy, repeat.

What makes a podcast so good that you can’t stop listening to it? I will say four things: Hosts, Content, Accessibility, and Length. A good set of Hosts is a must. Someone who is passionate, entertaining, and informative. Content. You as a listener have to be interested in what you are listening to. It has to be a topic you want to hear about; Podcasts are the king of niche entertainment. Accessibility. You have to be able to hear the show, and know when it’s going to come out. I found that I enjoy shows with a consistent release schedule, that way I can create a consistent listening schedule. Lastly, Length. I’m not saying a show can’t be long because I enjoy some long podcasts, they just have to have enough material fill that time. Some can go on far too long. If you meet all of these requirements, then I say you have a great show.

*As you read through the list, please note that not all of these shows are appropriate for all ages. Some of them include foul language and off color topics. The more asterisks next to the name of a podcast, the more non-family friendly the show is.

            The Guidelines: It has to be a podcast, and it has to be one we can’t stop listening too. If I can miss a week, if I can miss an episode, if I can download but not listen, then your show is simply not good enough to make this list.

            Honorable Mention: This week’s topic I had more than just 5 podcasts I wanted to talk about. All of these are great, but for one reason or another they missed the top 5. So very quickly here is 6-10:

10. You Made It Weird*** – great, funny, irreverent a fantastic listen. Pete Holmes talks about religion, politics, sexual escapades, and the underside of comedy with all of his friends. Not appropriate for all ages.

9. Mike and Tom Eat Snacks* – Just two really funny guys eating snacks and making jokes. Hosts Michael Ian Black and Tom Cavanagh eat their way though each episode and have you reaching for the snacks. Fun for all Mates! Not appropriate for all ages.

8. The Buffy Rewatch – This show is great, a very smart show with quality hosts and solid viewpoints (whether you agree or disagree with them). The show is a critical analysis of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which both makes it great and holds it off the main list. The show is specific to fans of the show, so unless you care about Buffy a LOT (which you all should) this show is not for you.

7. The Nerdist*** – The basic premise is Chris Hardwick, Jonah Ray, and Matt Mira talk about all things nerdy and interview guests and celebrities. This was one of the first shows that I listened too every week. It’s funny, it’s nerdy, and it’s a great listen.  However, there are a ton of episodes and the show has fallen to the status of “I’ll listen if I like who they are talking to.”

6. Inside the Magic – The show is a recap, review, and news show about all things Disney. It’s based around the theme parks but covers films, TV, merchandise and anything else you can think of. This was the hardest show to leave off the list. Why? I listen to it every week, like clockwork, and enjoy it. It may be the most enjoyable hour and half plus of podcast that I listen to. Why is it not in the actual list? Two simple reasons: it can run upwards of 2 hours an episode and you have to care about Disney a LOT. If Disney and Disney news don’t interest you, then this show is not for you.

           

The List:

5. Alohomora/MuggleCast – So… I have a tie at #5, but both of these shows are great and on the same-ish topic. You put them together and you have about a weekly show. MuggleCast and Alohomora are podcast about Harry Potter (if you couldn’t already tell). The first show has been running for about 7 years and covers the pop culture side of the Potter phenomenon. The second is only about 2 months old and is an in-depth reread of the Potter books. Each has its strengths but together they serve as a great way to keep Harry Potter new and fresh.

Yes, these shows are about a very specific topic, but as I state before, a good podcast piques your personal interests. However, for this list I tried to picks shows reach beyond their theme. MuggleCast looks at Harry Potter as a cultural phenomenon and talks about it in terms of the films, their profits, and (lack of) awards, Pottermore and its impact on the fandom and the internet, the books and their impact on society, the actors and their characters, gives in depth analysis of the series (in the back logs you get some pretty conversations about what will happen in the series.), talk about the Wizarding World Theme parks and other Potter attraction, as well as news and notes on J. K. Rowling herself. MuggleCast releases one episode a month, usually about an hour and half long.

Whereas Alohomora takes a look solely at the Harry Potter book series, it becomes a much broader conversation when looking at Harry Potter in terms of other literature. This show looks at 2 chapters per show and gives some great analysis of the series. This is like sitting a Harry Potter lit class with your really smart, good natured, and funny friends who also happen to love Harry Potter. This is a relatively new podcast so they are still finding their legs a bit, but it’s a great time to jump in! Alohomara releases one episode every two weeks and are about an hour and half long.

4. ESPN Fantasy Focus Baseball – This is probably the most specific interest show on this list. ESPN Fantasy Focus Baseball & Football are show about, exactly what they say they are about, fantasy sports. But what’s different about them? The hosts: Matthew Berry, Nate Ravtiz and their producer Pod Vader. These guys add a little comedy to the show, and realize that what they do shouldn’t be taken seriously. You are never going to hear two guys yelling at the top of their lungs about player. What you will hear is great running jokes, self-deprecating humor, Matty’s Dating Advice corner, and, oh, yeah, some fantasy advice.

I will admit that, as much as I love this show I have blinders on. This was the first podcast that I listened to; I’ve followed it since 2008 and actually get a little bummed in January and February when they cut back to monthly shows. This is the show that introduced me to podcasts, a form of media that I now love. So I say a simple thanks to the 06010, from a longtime fan and listener. ESPN Fantasy Focus Baseball releases one episode every weekday during the baseball season (and football season for the football show) and they usually run between 30 and 45 minutes.

3. Doug Loves Movies** -- One of my top two favorite comedians is Doug Benson. Doug Benson loves movies, so of course I’m going to listen to this show. And it also happens to be great. One of the most consistently funny shows on the internet, this features three fresh comedians every week talking to Doug about movies. What they have seen recently (in theatres or not) and what they think about it. The show sticks to movies the best it can but frequently goes off the rails and as Doug tries to get the show back on the road, hilarity ensues.

In all honesty the show is more comedy than movies. But the best, the absolute best part of the show is the last segment where Doug and his guests play the Leonard Maltin game. The Leonard Maltin game is a movie based trivia game that lends itself to great conversation and comedy.

The show on the whole is great but what it really hinges on are the guests. Mostly all of the comedians and celebrities that are on the show are funny in their own right, however, if there’s chemistry between them the show vaults to another level. A great, fun, and funny show loosely based on film and trivia games, Doug Loves Movies releases one episode (sometimes more) a week on Fridays and it’s about an hour long.

2. Talkin’ Toons with Rob Paulsen – Rob Paulsen is a voice actor whose podcast is full of love, friendship, joy, and some of the most famous and talented people you’ve probably never heard of, and Mark Hamill. Rob himself is the voice of some really famous toons, he’s Rafael from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Yakko from The Animaniacs, and Pinky from Pinky and The Brain, and on top of all of that he seems like the nicest dude you’d ever want to meet.

The show is a conversation between Rob and another voice actor, which usually turns into stories of how cartoons are made, voices are created, and the crazy interactions they’ve had with famous people. Also mixed in is some really good advice on how to be a voice actor (or just actor) in Hollywood.

Pulling on the nostalgic heart strings, this show has me filled with so much joy when I listen that I find myself marathon-ing episodes that I’ve already heard instead of listening to new material. Talkin’ Toons with Rob Paulsen is a show that everyone should give a shot. It’s family friendly, all about cartoons that we know and love, and is a blast to listen to. It releases weekly and runs about an hour in length.

1. Comedy Film Nerds* -- This, for me, is a can’t-miss show. Sadly it’s not always family friendly, but it’s smart, funny, and helps me find some really good films. The show comes out weekly and discusses new releases into theatres and on DVD as well as has a featured topic related to film and the guest of the week.

Comedy Film Nerds is a great mix of comedy and criticism. The hosts Graham Elwood and Chris Mancni are knowledgeable and have very different views on what makes a good film. So if they both like it then you know it must be good. I have found plenty of good films because of this show. I’ve also joined the message board on their website for some great film conversation.

Even when the show goes off topic, it always hilarious. I have been with this show since the start, and have never missed an episode. It’s well made, worth listening to, and more than worth your time. (The only drawback is the language at times can be vulgar – not a draw back for me, but just so you know). Let’s all put our kitten hands together and enjoy our time hanging with the gargoyles in the garage.

Five Ways that Aliens Beats Prometheus as a Companion Film to Alien

Disclaimer: This article is SOLELY the opinion of Nerd5. It is grossly unfair as a review, which should NEVER be a contest between two very different works of art produced by two very different artists. That said, in a franchise it’s IMPOSSIBLE not to draw comparisons. I’ll try not to be a jerk, though I already am by indulging in the worst form of criticism. Also, this is full of spoilers. Now, read on…

1.     Aliens was made for 18 million dollars, Prometheus for 125 million. Even adjusting for inflation, that’s a BIG difference. Both were filmed primarily in the UK, which allowed them to benefit from large tax breaks, and both were highly anticipated follow-ups, so they at least started on even footing.

Of course, with the amount of CGI that went into creating the world of Prometheus it was never going to be cheap. Ridley Scott is in the business of creating beautifully realized worlds, and the bills pile up, but Aliens also created a world and filled it with interesting people and creatures (including the Alien Queen) with no CGI whatsoever.

2.     Aliens features Marines making bad decisions, not scientists. Marines are trained to charge in. Scientists know better. Throughout Prometheus the elite team of brainiacs didn’t just exhibit poor judgment; they were bad at their jobs. 

3.     There were a lot of things in Prometheus that JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE. A movie doesn’t have to answer every question it poses, most of the best movies don’t, but the characters within a film need to have some reasonable motivation for their actions. In Aliens the creature’s motivations are simple: defend the hive and collect humans for the face-huggers to lay eggs in. In Prometheus, there are huge logic holes on the side of both the aliens and humans. For example: why does the only remaining Engineer (within the first installation - there were at least 5 others, so probably even more in hypersleep) track Shaw to her escape ship instead of simply going to another one of the numerous underground Engineer ships and completing his mission?  I might not always agree with Ripley’s decisions (I would probably let Newt die) but I certainly understand them within the context of her character.

4.     Aliens elevated the production design of Alien. H. R. Giger’s original artwork for Alien is hauntingly beautiful. I can’t look at any of his drawings without being terrified and fascinated at once. It’s dark, dangerous, sexual, and inhuman in a way that’s impossible to describe. Aliens continued down this path, especially with the design of the Alien Queen, while adding a militaristic style of its own. Prometheus also had fantastic production design, but much of what I saw was just the old classics with very few new ideas brought to the table. This is a completely unfair assertion, but since this is an opinion piece rather than a review I will simply state my gut reaction.

5.     Aliens had Ripley, and Ripley had an arc. Noomi Race did a great job as Shaw in Prometheus, but I didn’t feel that she had a clear emotional journey. She did transition from “Engineers good!”, (a decision that she came to with no evidence to support her claim), to “Engineers bad!” (again with very little evidence, other than that she and her compatriots had really screwed things up for themselves through sloppy science). Ripley had a journey. By the end of Aliens she was able to put to bed her uncontrollable fear of the xenomorph, as well as her disappointment at the death of her daughter, and become a powerful woman who wasn’t afraid to bitch-slap an enemy four times her size. Shaw was reactionary, Ripley was extraordinary.

That said:

1.     Michael Fassbender does a remarkable job as the android, David. Bishop is cool, but David manages to terrify me while still making a poignant statement for android equality. I've heard him best described as "a scientifically inclined Dennis the Menace."

2.     The creators of Prometheus absolutely made the right choice making the traditional Alien creatures an epilogue to this film instead of the main story. The less we know about the “xenomorphs” the better they are, and there are already a handful of terrible movies that cover the well-beaten ground of face-hugger+terrified and ignorant scientist/space pirate/marine/convict/dog/whatever=Alien.

3.     I love the idea of The Engineers. Their campaign of terra-forming and seeding planets with life is fascinating and should be explored. I just wish a bit more of that had been done here.

4.     I actually like (spoiler) that the only xenomorph we see isn’t a carbon copy of the Alien we’re all used to. It gestated differently, it should be different. Good choice.

5.     Prometheus was wildly ambitious, and though it skewed more toward LOST than gothic sci-fi horror, I will never fault it for taking chances. The creators trusted in their audience’s intelligence, and dared to piss off their own fans. If "fans" are going to be upset that Ridley Scott didn’t make the same Alien movie that has been attempted over and over again, than they don’t deserve to call themselves fans. They should just go and enjoy the god-awful Alien Vs. Predator movies (which in the opinion of this critic should not be counted as part of this series, or as films).

Nerd 5 Follow Up: Top 5 Directors that Need to Make a Zombie Film

You've read their lists, now Jeff and Josh take a minute to compare notes (and prove that the other is crazy).

Jeff: So, thoughts after reading each other's lists? Any surprises?

Josh: I knew you would take issues with me calling 28 Day Later a zombie film... I guess we should have defined zombie a little better. I just went with basic man eating other man + virus = zombie.

Jeff: Boyle was fine, and though there are naysayers, it's one of the best zombie films out there. Boyle and Snyder are the only major directors with zombies that can run, and Boyle's I didn't mind.

Emmerich was a find! I would have never thought of Mr. 10,000 B.C., but he works!

Josh: I really just love the epic scope of all his films. Even smaller ones like Anonymous he makes feel huge.

Jeff: Partially because he likes to take an intimate story and stages it in an airplane hangar...

Josh: Laughter.

Jeff: What did you think of mine?

Josh: Let's start with Rain Johnson... I love Brick (thank you Jeffrey for introducing me) but I fell asleep during The Brother's Bloom and Looper doesn't look great. So convince me.

Jeff: Ok... This is like someone walking up to a Christian and saying "Why is Jesus cool? 10 words, go!" It takes faith, Josh. His films have a super high standard of quality, I think we can agree there, and all of his writing has a unique rhythm and energy to it. Johnson does great things visually on zero budget. If Robert Rodriguez is rock, Rain Johnson is jazz.

Josh: Yeah, like Kenny G.

Jeff: I still want to see that film, even if the charm of Johnson's writing sometimes gets in the way of telling a tight story.

I figured you would be making fun of my old standards, James Cameron and Ridley Scott.

Josh: I have no issue with Ridley Scott. I want to see his zombie film, just not the seven director's cuts that will follow.

As for Cameron.... well, he makes films the drones love to see over and over and over again. I'll give him that.

Jeff: I am a happy drone. Join the hive mind, Josh!

Josh: Have fun on Pandora.  I'll have fun being the only person in the world not seeing Avatar (cough Fern Gully cough) 2 and 3. If James Cameron doesn't write the script, I think I'd be okay with it.

Jeff: I will admit, the script is not the high point of that movie, but if you don't see it as a massive achievement, you are blind sir. Blind.

Plus, Cameron is an auteur. He can do anything, he's a good writer, a great production designer, a visionary, and his standard of quality (I would have pointed to True Lies as the weak spot) is insanely high. You put a wall in front of him; he'll punch through it like bugs bunny, and make billions doing it.

Josh: He is a great visual and technical director. I give you that. And Yes, Avatar is a massive achievement in film. BUT is that where we want film to go? All cgi? No real use for actors, expect as voice talent? You know as soon as the studios can find a way to make that affordable, they will all try for their own Avatar and cut real performances out altogether.

Jeff: Cameron’s zombie film would be as epic as Emmerich's, as rich as Ridley's, as well written as... well something, and make more money than currently exists on earth.

Josh: Let's just say I'm going to keep giving my money to Joss in order to knock Mr. Cameron off his high horse.

Jeff: I love Joss, but he can't even beat Titanic when he's flying on the back of The Avengers.

I LOVE him though... He really is my favorite of the two, and both of our top choices.

Josh: Time will tell, there's still a lot of money to be made on The Avengers (I'm pretty sure it's not been released in China yet). Joss is the best choice because he's a fan and a fantastic filmmaker. He understands that good visuals also need good characters and story to stand on.

Jeff: Absolutely. If you can forgive Cameron for Avatar, I'll forgive Joss for Alien Resurrection. Granted the studio probably didn't help him out with that one.

Josh: Let’s get to someone I know you have issues with, Nicholas Winding Refn.

Jeff: I hated Drive. There, I said it.

I liked what it tried to do, I liked how stylized it was and the callbacks to the '80s, but Ryan Goslings character made NO sense to me.

Josh: I'm sitting there watching Drive with my heart pounding in my throat! What was bad about Drive? It's not perfect, I'm not crazy, but there was a clear vision, focus, and style.

Jeff: Who wants to see a zombie film whose main character is a silent zombie in a scorpion jacket?

Josh: I understood his motivations at the time. Plus... that actually sounds super entertaining.

Jeff: Ok, granted. To finish up, what makes a GREAT zombie film, and thus, a great zombie director?

Josh: I would say a great zombie film has characters that you want to see survive, a story that comments on society, and an emotional core to the film. A zombie film isn’t about the zombies for me. It's all about the people.

Jeff: I completely agree. So beyond looking for directors who are visceral in their use of violence (which I think is a requirement) we want directors who can build their own worlds and fill them with human characters. We need directors who understand that if we care about each person, we'll care about their world, and by doing we can care about the ghouls who are tearing it apart.

To you, dear reader, don’t let us do all the talking! Let us know what you think and join in the conversation.